7 Quick Takes, the guilt edition

1. Happy Easter to all! Looking forward to Divine Mercy Sunday. This family needs all the mercy it can get right now! We have several serious issues all going at once--prayer needed! Two of our daughters are having crises that seriously jeopardize their college standings, my Mother-in-law broke her hip and is in a rehab,  and my brother is very ill--and Lord help us--pray for Bob and I just to make it through it all.

2. I haven't been able to post much because of those things, and school! Who can forget that? I am just about to finish my third term, finals are less than two weeks away. Grades are good, but the work continues to get tougher and tougher. I always feel as though I am hanging on by a thread. I am beginning to think God wanted this to keep my head into something other than my children's dilemmas! Mostly it does work like that, but then there are times like right now, when it is really a challenge to think about steno and grammar at all. Really, thinking about grammar is never on my short list anyway, but now! whoa. But even that can be so much tidier than reality. Mine is not tidy at all.

Here is a sample from steno theory-

TKO/KWROU/SR-T/PHAPB/KWRAOUL/TP-R/TH-/PER/PET/KWRAOUL/PHOEGS/PHA/SHAOEPB/STPH

It says, "Do you have the manual for this perpetual motion machine?"


3. Speaking of reality and perpetual motion machines, (which for me are synonymous), back to the theme of this blog. Does all this reflect directly upon me? Is it all the reaping of consequences for sin? Does it all indicate that I have failed in some way, especially in regards to my children?

There was a time I would have accepted that without question. It was taught and taught well in some of the churches I attended. That I am even questioning about it is a big step. Now, as my readers know,  I acknowledge my failures as a Christian and a mother in years past.  But at what point do the actions of my offspring become their own? I know I still struggle with certain issues whose seed was from a bad relationship, whose seed was rooted in my upbringing. But is everything that branches out from there the fault of my parents?  I know from my experience that I made my own choices, some ill informed,  others not so much. Several of my own   are becoming young adults, and I'm afraid that beyond my love and prayers, they will have to begin carrying life's responsibilities themselves. You may be reading that thinking, "ya think? duh..." but for someone like me, it's a lot tougher. It is going to involve watching them suffer, and not jump in to take that away.

4. The other part of that equation is, having a life outside of those realities that reflects the fruits of the Spirit and contains a modicam of peace.  Not feeling as though my family is somehow more messed up than the average family and it is all my fault. Not allowing my husband and I to sleep well at night if all the plates aren't spinning perfectly. I have to remember how it was growing up and figuring out my own way, yes, even with Christ. Even Christians, even Catholics have messy, pain filled, care-laden lives. It doesn't mean we have "missed" God's will for us if everything doesn't flow along seamlessly while whistling a happy tune and having tea and crumpets. In fact, and I say this in the most grudging manner, because I am not a happy sufferer, all the suffering makes us...(shhh)... better. We know that, but more in a Lives of the Saints way.

5. But! I think I am learning that even in the midst of suffering there can be peace. (I know!--another obvious-ism)

Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.




Okay! I get it! However! Living it is another ball of wax entirely.

Just in case, you were wondering about that, as I was.

http://www.cosmetology-video-store.com/the-whole-ball-wax.aspx

6.  So I am continuing to live and work. Do things like go get a haircut and planning a visit to my eldest and fam in Michigan. Which, as you know, includes my grandson. 

7. So, even though my seven quick takes were really one long take about the same thing, and they weren't all that quick, at least I get points for trying to stick to the format, right?

God Bless you, I hope we all have a peaceful weekend, with or without wrestling any alligators that happen across our paths.

Peace, 

Kelly

ball and chain photo source:http://www.redferret.net/?p=1649

Catholic Bloggers Unite!

Read this from Fr. Z--I would write about it myself but I have homework and Fr. did a fine job already--

  Vote for Cardinal Dolan to be one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people.

please read and repost anywhere and everywhere you can

This is but the skeleton of what has happened in this woman's life. I have been reading her blog for some time now, and wanting so much to think of ways to help her. Yes, yes, of course I pray, as I am sure so many also do, and it is evident that God is at work.

But this Lent, let's be His hands and feet and heart, and all help pull this family up out of the years of grueling difficulty in just getting fed, clothed and kept warm.

Here is her letter--put it in the eyes and hands of anyone who will read it.



141 Main Street
Baltic, Connecticut 06330
March 19, 2012
Dear Mr. Anderson:

This is the story of how the State of Connecticut took $347 from my ten dependent children in order to pay the debts of a man who robbed me of $9900. How did this happen?

·         January 1, 2007:  my husband, Thomas J. Bothur, Jr., walked out on our family, leaving me with no money and 10 minor children at home.

·         My ex-husband used his place of employment and position (bank manager) to transfer all joint money into a personal account, without my knowledge or consent.

·         Early 2007: My ex-husband filed joint state and federal tax returns for 2006; he had the refunds direct deposited into this personal account, again without my knowledge or consent.

·         My ex-husband failed to pay state income tax, which has still not been paid as of today.

·         I was left with no money to hire an attorney to seek child support.

·         March - December of 2007: after I obtained an attorney, child support was received

·         Around June of 2007, my ex-husband moved to New Jersey; child support payments were not enforced.

·         December 2007 through September 2010: no child support, save for ONE payment, was received.

·         August of 2010, our jointly owned home was foreclosed on due to lack of payment and a lack of the courts’ enforcement.

·         December of 2010: after writing letters to a variety of state and federal agencies, asking for help with my case, a federal marshal was assigned to investigate my case.

·         My ex-husband could not be found in violation of non-support since he did make that ONE payment in April of 2008. The marshal also investigated claims of check fraud; this could not be presented in a Connecticut court due to his New Jersey residency and my inability to retain a lawyer in New Jersey to take a deposition.

·         These financial issues have been brought to the attention of the judges overseeing our divorce and custody hearings. No judge has listened to me, even though I believe my ex-husband has broken the law.

Today:

·         I am owed over $80,000 from my ex-husband in child support. I have not received a penny since January 15, 2012; he is now claiming bankruptcy which stops any attempts I might make at receiving support.

·         I am living 200% below the federal poverty level, raising 8 minor children.

·         I cannot get energy assistance or cash assistance from the Department of Social Services.

·         Any money I make is taken from me as payment for the debts he incurred while still married, or deducted from the food stamps I do receive, which doesn’t enable me to pay any bills, such as rent, electric, etc.

I have been served with great injustice from our court system and other government agencies that are supposed to protect and help adults and children who have been wronged by others, just as my family and I have. As a resident of Connecticut for 36 years, I have lived according to the law before, during, and after my divorce. I am asking for your assistance in correcting the errors that have been made to me and my family.

Sincerely,

Kristin Bothur
11onmyown@sbcglobal.net
(860)822-6303

Lenten thoughts and my grandson

      Wow,  my family has a LOT going on. You would think I'd be used to it by now. But the substance of the goings on develops over time and of course as the kids grow up their issues grow right along with them. But so does their capacity to experience growth as they attain more and more control over their own lives. Sometimes that's a scary thing, but experience is one of life's valuable teachers. Bob and I just try to hang in there with them, and with Jesus and Mary so we can hang in there with our kids. Sometimes the best thing we can do for them is keep ourselves buried in the hearts of Our Lord and Our Lady.

Part of my Lenten observance has been praying through St. Louis De Montfort's Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. It never fails to poke me somewhere each time I read it. Really, for this and it's companion, True Devotion to Mary, I could pretty much go through them continually and never reach the end of my need to do so.


     Recently, one thing among many that struck me was the need to recognize just how much fear inhibits so many things in my life.  And also how the concept of how labor is not something we can skip over if we are going to reach a goal. A concept all we mothers are well aware of! I can never forget Fr. Corapi saying, "No Good Friday, no Easter Sunday!" But if any of us were faced with what Christ was on that day, I daresay we would all just faint dead away before it got really bad. Mothers laboring to give birth can tell you that, yes, there is pain, but if there is an overabundance of fear, the pain is a whole lot worse and a lot less productive. We're told to breathe through it, and then at the right time, to bear down and work with it. Because there is going to be a great and miraculous reward and we will know it was worth the struggle.

The passage from the Consecration is this:

"There is one thing that keeps many back from spiritual progress, and from fervor in amendment, namely: The labor that is necessary for the struggle. And assuredly they especially advance beyond others in virtues, who strive the most manfully to overcome the very things which are the hardest and most contrary to them." p19

and also--

"For there a man does profit more and merit more abundant grace when he does most to overcome himself and mortify his spirit." p 19

If you think of the thing about yourself that plagues you most in life, and imagine yourself really facing it and taking concrete steps to overcome it, what's the first obstacle? For me, it's the whole reason it hasn't been addressed, because it seems too scary! Again, I think of Fr. Corapi. He said, ask for what you need! Say, you want to lose weight, but the task seems too big (yuk yuk). Ask for the desire to say, begin exercising, by asking for the ability to take, say a five or ten minute walk. Not for the ability to run a marathon, though if that is your goal, by all means, ask.  He helps us through all the stages. If you need to, ask for the courage to even ask! Back up until you get to where you actually are. He'll meet you there. The laboring mother gets to the birth one contraction at a time. Ask for the same trust the Blessed Mother had when she said yes, not knowing all that it would cost her, bless her, and help to redeem mankind. If we live in fear of pain, all we see is the pain. If we live with faith, hope and love, and look past the pain, working with it to allow it to bear fruit, Jesus takes that and does the rest.




And now for my grandson!

 

Oh the bittersweetness of watching him grow up so fast! 

Pray for me that I might be able to get out to see them soon, and better yet, get all of us together! And props to Meghann, his momma, who is a really good photographer.

Wishing you a Blessed and Grace-filled Lent

Kelly

yeah, she said it!

And I for one especially appreciate it.

I have been churning away at my schoolwork and other things, and am brimming with things I would like to share with you, but this woman speaks so well on this issue, I just had to share it with you.

Thanks Manny for sharing it with me!

Change, Obedience, and Humility

 

           Our country, at this moment in history, is becoming a place I hardly recognize. America, almost by definition, is a place where a person has been free to pursue his own course, speak his mind, and above all, believe what he has come to believe as truth, whether it be to embrace a religion or not, or to be somewhere on the continuum between the two. Now, if one is not of the popular mindset, which leans away from anything traditional, God-centered, or remotely suggestive of the idea that we as humans are not the origin and center of all that is wise and good; we are ridiculed and even attacked at every turn. The scandal within the Catholic Church is held up as a reason to negate all that God has done in establishing her. I wonder, where is the scathing denunciation and pile-on lawsuits for, say, the public school? Where abuse happens in exponential quantities in comparison to the Church.

     Now the Obama Administration is legislating how we can live out our faith. Those arguments I hear in defense are so incredibly hollow, off point, and downright bitter, I am wondering who really believes all that. I have heard that it is okay to mandate religious based institutions and groups to fund the latest package of "womens services", directly, if self insured, or indirectly, through their OWN tax dollars (after all, no government money is anything but), because, "98% of Catholics practice birth control." 1. what a load of you know what THAT stat is. (Read the debunking of that here). 2. oh, so that makes it A-Ok to tread all over religious conscience, and 3. it does not address any of the other mandates, abortion or Plan B. And if I hear the term, "services" for women one more time, I may throw up. I can tell you that those "services" are indeed DIS- services to women, "assisting" them only in becoming ever less valued. Power over life and death does not belong to us, fellow women, not to men either, but only God. Remember dear Archangel Lucifer and what happened to him?

  The idea that humility is weakness is entirely backwards. It is more heroic, more taxing, more thoughtful and yes, intelligent (yeah, I said it!) to maintain oneself in humility than to go blasting about proclaiming how powerful we are over this, that and the other. No person has power over the will of God and the turning of the earth. Thank God! By the same token, it is through humility that we can actually see ourselves for who we really were created to be. And how incredibly loved by God we are even when we do not love Him back or appreciate His infinite patience, mercy and kindness toward us. To be submissive, obedient and humble before God is to indeed help ourselves realize all that not only is lacking, (because that is all our condition), but to see the good in ourselves as well. Just acknowledging that we did not originate the good, is not weakness. It is a way to tap into the life of the Trinity through sanctifying grace and realize that we as women and all people, have the power to effect change on earth that will actually lead to real freedom instead of the suffocating arm of government forcing its will upon us. God knows His rule is absolute, and yet, He never forces. He only loves. And to love means to tell the truth. To be humble means to realize the truth about ourselves; not to  put ourselves down and not to lift ourselves up, but to know the place in our God's heart that we dwell in, and to respond to that love and therefore live in His power, which transcends all earthly ones.

As I stated in the opening paragraph, this country is supposed to be, the last time I checked, a place where we are free to walk our own faith journey unencumbered. To not have our government prying open our heads to insert its own agenda. To not be so insecure that it needs to micromanage us into submission. God doesn't do that even to unbelievers. If a person wants to make a choice not to believe, they are free to do so. God is ultimately more pro-choice than the so-called pro-choicers. (who only respect your choice if it lines up with theirs). He just offers that little side benefit we like to call Eternal Life. If we will put our own agenda aside for one millisecond and find out what He is really about, He is right there to welcome us with open arms and willing to mend our broken hearts.

I for one, plan to cultivate whatever task He gives me to share His life with whomever He gives me. And if America no longer wants to allow that, then, I guess she will be having a problem with me.

God's Blessings and Peace

~Kelly

+JMJ+

Additional note taken from article cited above--a further comment by its author-
Scott, for clarity's sake: I'm not Catholic. I am a Christian and an analytic philosopher. I don't like cant and lies. This administration and their fellow travelers traffic heavily in cant and lies. Heavily exaggerated statistics are part of that program. As a purely secular friend said to me, in almost these exact words, "One reason that this is important is because the underlying message is that the Catholic views are not simply wrong but _crazy_, that they do not describe an achievable way of life." I think that was shrewd. Whether one agrees or not with the Roman Catholic Church's position re. contraception, the current liberal meme is that it is _insane_, that no one _could_ live according to those principles. The idea is to demonize social conservatives generally, with the Catholic Church serving as a kind of proxy for "everything sexual and social liberals hate." Both for that reason and for the sake of accuracy, debunking exaggerated statistics as I was attempting to do in the main post is relevant.






image source:http://img.wikinut.com/img/r3c-pwcyffzh8d9v/jpeg/0/The-barren-landscape-of-Salt-Lake.jpeg

7 quick March for Life-and other pro life- type things- takes

1. We weren't even sure we were going to be able to go to the March this year, until I got an email from a very faithful prolife warrior friend announcing a fully paid for bus that he was trying to fill. So, we helped him out. And this definitely made us feel that God was involved, but...it was rainy~ and cold! So all the way up to getting out of bed that cold, wet Monday at Four-O'clock-ish, I was deliberating. But Malaika was going this year for the first time, and I knew so many others were going to make the sacrifice, so! We went. OF COURSE I forgot the camera! Yes there are multitudes of photos from that day, but none are us. Malaika took some shots with her phone. If we ever get them onto the computer, I may share them with you. I don't think any of them are us, either.

2. ( or, 1, continued) After seeing all the people that traveled to the march from all over the country and the world, of course I felt shamed. There were people from Canada; and my dear friend Beth told me this morning there were some from Russia! Yikes. There were people with their children in plastic covered strollers, people in wheelchairs, people on crutches. There were many elderly and there were high school and college groups, who gave the very dreary day a great shot of enthusiasm, and well, life! Despite the weather, there was a record turnout. Some estimates have said 400,000. The usual media downplay said things like 17,000. Ha! I know for a fact there were at least 17,000 in line for one of the bathrooms in Union Station.

3. (or 1, continued). ( Like how I still call this 7 quick takes?) I feel glad that so many understand that our sacrifices in attending that day WILL count, if to no one else, to God. And Who Else better? So many who couldn't attend held us all in their prayers, many thanks for that!


7.Now a few personal notes. Drum roll please..bbbrrrbrbrbrbr...tsh! (that was the cymbal crash). Remember that contest in which I asked you all to vote for my husband? Well, he won! First prize! So proud of him. And he wins $1000!  Thank you all for your generous support!

 Me. School. Hard. Exhaustion. That's all.

My daughter Corrie is moving back home this weekend. Please pray for her, if you would. Her seizures returned with a scary incident one night (she now has stitches next to her eye), and other things she really needs lots of prayer support for. Another daughter,Melissa, is doing really well, and I thank you for all your prayers for her, please don't stop just yet! I believe she has a special call on her life, and so is opposed very fiercely. Rachael is going through some tough times as well, so...well, you know the drill. All my kids have green scapulars, and I pray for them with the powerful intercession afforded by Our Lady.
Remember the Taking the Christmas Tree down scenario? Well, I am STILL taking down the other decorations. They are staring at me as I write this. I know, I know. I'm getting there!

Blessings and peace to all my dear readers~

+JMJ+

Kelly