Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Believe it or not, this was the easier topic



Yes, it really is easier for me to talk about humility than many of the other posts I have bouncing around in my brain. I think because it is plainly evident that I am still so far from achieving even the smallest portion of this list, that it is pretty safe to look on from a distance. Almost as though it was a zoo animal in an enclosure, some other species with an unknowable mind.

Everything I have learned about myself and about how to walk with God in this life comes back to humility.
One can't acknowledge God's existence, ask for anything in prayer, have faith or ask for the gift of faith, or even seek out God at all - without being able to first admit that we are not the master of our lives. That we have need and that need can only be see in relation to our smallness before the Creator of creation.

It's a relief, really, to realize I am not in charge, or in control of anything. Who wants that! Anywhere I do have authority, God has granted it though favor or through natural law, and the better I understand my authority is really just another form of servanthood, the better for everyone concerned.


I mean, take a gander at that list! It's not a question of whether I don't live up to any of the points, but HOW MANY TIMES EVERY DAY . Let's see, yes I talked about myself, and oh, curiosity! How many things/people did I Google today alone? I want to know ALL THE THINGS. And incidentally, any time I give up or cut back on social media, I find that my stress level decreases, and golly gee, I have more time and inclination to pray! And pay attention to the people God puts in front of my face! Imagine that. I am working on being able to use social media and not let it slap me around, overtake my life, pull me Alice-like down rabbit-hole-labyrinths, distract me from what is most important.

And oh boy, those small irritations. Those get me every time. And I am not by nature an irritable person, but often it is the rude cashier, or the lady that zooms in front of me as I am headed to the checkout line at the grocery store (you know exactly which one I mean, she comes flying over from your peripheral vision and never once looks at you), that will be the last straw if I am having a day with a lot on my mind.

And 7-15. I mean. They are so far from my natural inclinations so as to maybe be written in hieroglyphics. WHO DOES THOSE THINGS?

And the answer is of course, Jesus did those things. And the Blessed Mother. And many saints. And I want to do those things.

So every Friday, as part of another group of prayers I say (Auxilium Christianorum), Is the Litany of Humility.

Litany of Humility 

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me. 
From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being loved, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being extolled, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being honored, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being praised, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being preferred to others, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being consulted, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the desire of being approved, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the fear of being despised, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the fear of suffering rebukes, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the fear of being calumniated, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me, Jesus. 
From the fear of being ridiculed, deliver me, Jesus.
 From the fear of being wronged, deliver me, Jesus.
 From the fear of being suspected, deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. 
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
 That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. 
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. 
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. 
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. 
That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.  

At first, just having those words come out of my mouth seemed kind of ridiculous. But I have come to love them, even the pain I sometimes feel when the contrast to my actual life is so great. I realize that I am asking Him who is able to do these sorts of things. To change things I can't. Even to make me willing to change things I don't want to let go of.

I realize that without some measure of humility, I will not be able to grow in the spiritual life and be the person I was created to be. Which I really want to be, if for no one else then at least for my family.

Not the least of whom are these two--
--you didn't think you were getting away without the grands--




Blessings and Peace.

Kelly

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