Tuesday, March 20, 2012

please read and repost anywhere and everywhere you can

This is but the skeleton of what has happened in this woman's life. I have been reading her blog for some time now, and wanting so much to think of ways to help her. Yes, yes, of course I pray, as I am sure so many also do, and it is evident that God is at work.

But this Lent, let's be His hands and feet and heart, and all help pull this family up out of the years of grueling difficulty in just getting fed, clothed and kept warm.

Here is her letter--put it in the eyes and hands of anyone who will read it.

141 Main Street
Baltic, Connecticut 06330

March 19, 2012
Dear Mr. Anderson:
This is the story of how the State of Connecticut took $347 from my ten dependent children in order to pay the debts of a man who robbed me of $9900. How did this happen?
·         January 1, 2007:  my husband, Thomas J. Bothur, Jr., walked out on our family, leaving me with no money and 10 minor children at home.
·         My ex-husband used his place of employment and position (bank manager) to transfer all joint money into a personal account, without my knowledge or consent.
·         Early 2007: My ex-husband filed joint state and federal tax returns for 2006; he had the refunds direct deposited into this personal account, again without my knowledge or consent.
·         My ex-husband failed to pay state income tax, which has still not been paid as of today.
·         I was left with no money to hire an attorney to seek child support.
·         March - December of 2007: after I obtained an attorney, child support was received
·         Around June of 2007, my ex-husband moved to New Jersey; child support payments were not enforced.
·         December 2007 through September 2010: no child support, save for ONE payment, was received.
·         August of 2010, our jointly owned home was foreclosed on due to lack of payment and a lack of the courts’ enforcement.
·         December of 2010: after writing letters to a variety of state and federal agencies, asking for help with my case, a federal marshal was assigned to investigate my case.
·         My ex-husband could not be found in violation of non-support since he did make that ONE payment in April of 2008. The marshal also investigated claims of check fraud; this could not be presented in a Connecticut court due to his New Jersey residency and my inability to retain a lawyer in New Jersey to take a deposition.
·         These financial issues have been brought to the attention of the judges overseeing our divorce and custody hearings. No judge has listened to me, even though I believe my ex-husband has broken the law.


·         I am owed over $80,000 from my ex-husband in child support. I have not received a penny since January 15, 2012; he is now claiming bankruptcy which stops any attempts I might make at receiving support.
·         I am living 200% below the federal poverty level, raising 8 minor children.
·         I cannot get energy assistance or cash assistance from the Department of Social Services.
·         Any money I make is taken from me as payment for the debts he incurred while still married, or deducted from the food stamps I do receive, which doesn’t enable me to pay any bills, such as rent, electric, etc.
I have been served with great injustice from our court system and other government agencies that are supposed to protect and help adults and children who have been wronged by others, just as my family and I have. As a resident of Connecticut for 36 years, I have lived according to the law before, during, and after my divorce. I am asking for your assistance in correcting the errors that have been made to me and my family.

Kristin Bothur

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Lenten thoughts and my grandson

      Wow,  my family has a LOT going on. You would think I'd be used to it by now. But the substance of the goings on develops over time and of course as the kids grow up their issues grow right along with them. But so does their capacity to experience growth as they attain more and more control over their own lives. Sometimes that's a scary thing, but experience is one of life's valuable teachers. Bob and I just try to hang in there with them, and with Jesus and Mary so we can hang in there with our kids. Sometimes the best thing we can do for them is keep ourselves buried in the hearts of Our Lord and Our Lady.

Part of my Lenten observance has been praying through St. Louis De Montfort's Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. It never fails to poke me somewhere each time I read it. Really, for this and it's companion, True Devotion to Mary, I could pretty much go through them continually and never reach the end of my need to do so.

     Recently, one thing among many that struck me was the need to recognize just how much fear inhibits so many things in my life.  And also how the concept of how labor is not something we can skip over if we are going to reach a goal. A concept all we mothers are well aware of! I can never forget Fr. Corapi saying, "No Good Friday, no Easter Sunday!" But if any of us were faced with what Christ was on that day, I daresay we would all just faint dead away before it got really bad. Mothers laboring to give birth can tell you that, yes, there is pain, but if there is an overabundance of fear, the pain is a whole lot worse and a lot less productive. We're told to breathe through it, and then at the right time, to bear down and work with it. Because there is going to be a great and miraculous reward and we will know it was worth the struggle.

The passage from the Consecration is this:

"There is one thing that keeps many back from spiritual progress, and from fervor in amendment, namely: The labor that is necessary for the struggle. And assuredly they especially advance beyond others in virtues, who strive the most manfully to overcome the very things which are the hardest and most contrary to them." p19

and also--

"For there a man does profit more and merit more abundant grace when he does most to overcome himself and mortify his spirit." p 19

If you think of the thing about yourself that plagues you most in life, and imagine yourself really facing it and taking concrete steps to overcome it, what's the first obstacle? For me, it's the whole reason it hasn't been addressed, because it seems too scary! Again, I think of Fr. Corapi. He said, ask for what you need! Say, you want to lose weight, but the task seems too big (yuk yuk). Ask for the desire to say, begin exercising, by asking for the ability to take, say a five or ten minute walk. Not for the ability to run a marathon, though if that is your goal, by all means, ask.  He helps us through all the stages. If you need to, ask for the courage to even ask! Back up until you get to where you actually are. He'll meet you there. The laboring mother gets to the birth one contraction at a time. Ask for the same trust the Blessed Mother had when she said yes, not knowing all that it would cost her, bless her, and help to redeem mankind. If we live in fear of pain, all we see is the pain. If we live with faith, hope and love, and look past the pain, working with it to allow it to bear fruit, Jesus takes that and does the rest.

And now for my grandson!

Oh the bittersweetness of watching him grow up so fast! 
Pray for me that I might be able to get out to see them soon, and better yet, get all of us together! And props to Meghann, his momma, who is a really good photographer.

Wishing you a Blessed and Grace-filled Lent


Friday, March 9, 2012

yeah, she said it!

And I for one especially appreciate it.

I have been churning away at my schoolwork and other things, and am brimming with things I would like to share with you, but this woman speaks so well on this issue, I just had to share it with you.

Thanks Manny for sharing it with me!