Well, I now have a cold. It is not at the top level of Things that Bring Suffering to Humanity; but up there in terms of Things that Annoy the Heck Out of Me. So I am using this reasoning to write just whatever comes to mind right now, as I am doubtful that my pounding head will think in an organized enough fashion to provide the next installment of Salvation History.
I have been technically awake since 6:30 AM. I think I started coming out of the fog around noon. At this rate, I should have both shoes on by dinnertime. I thought Day-Quil was non drowsy? I am doing a little better now, though; debating between trying to keep my exercise program going and taking a nap. Or reading a little more of The 33 Doctors of the Church. Which could possibly lead to that nap. No, I really am interested in the book! I just tend to read in bed. Really!
Today, since I am having one of those not -getting- much- accomplished days, it has made me think again about what drives me and why. Really, I think I should be content, and even thrilled that I have the opportunity to do less and even nap if I want! But there is that inner gremlin that is not happy if I haven't been busy every minute and especially if there is no physical evidence that I have done anything. You are all witnesses that I have at least sat and typed this.
One of my inner longings is to be able to explore and pursue contemplative prayer. Given the paragraph above, it seems pretty funny! Kind of like Moses with his speech impediment and all. Only I want to do this. Hopefully, I won't feel as though I have to clean the whole house before I can begin each time. I can see two possible outcomes; 1. I will give up, or 2. I will have a really clean house. It is terrible having the two drives...one to sit and pray and read and write; and the other- to be up and moving. Right now I am eyeing the floor that needs vacuuming and the dishes in the sink.
It's no coincidence that my birthday falls on the feast of Saint Martha. In my heart, I'm all with Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, and just being, listening and absorbing. But my outsides are Martha, itching to move and Do Stuff. Unless we're talking about the hours after dinner! By then, both Martha and Mary have got up and gone home. I dislike having to go out of the house in the evenings. Any of the things that force me out at that time are met with considerable grumbling. Fun things, good things, spiritual things, doesn't matter. If I have to, once I get wherever I am going, all is fine. It's just the comfortable evening time, the after dinner cup of coffee and promise of possible dessert, the waning of the sun and the pleasant evening air--all give me feet covered in glue if disturbed.
Crossword puzzle anyone?