Lessons from William M. Joel, Philosopher, or, Fantasy vs Reality

Conformity vs Non-conformity.

Bland vs Edgy

Safety vs Risk

Cowardice vs Courage

Obedience vs Rebellion

All of these comparisons. So little truth. Think of how a young person judges whether or not something is cool. Or whatever the term that is now cool instead of cool. Sick? Whatever. Is it common? Is it original?

Really, what is meant, is, what group does it identify me with? How does it brand me?

Because really, folks. Nothing is new. Just like the word says. No. Thing. If you are trying not to conform to say, what "society" says is "normal," all you are doing is conforming to what popular culture says  is cool, rad, sick, progressive, alternative, etc. But is it? Or is it about finding a way to define yourself as special? To define yourself as being loved? (by the ____ group).

Let me try to sketch out a very basic example.

A young girl, let's say, projects her identity out to the world through her clothing, at least in many cases of American girls. If she picked up somewhere that she deems cool,  the message that to be a feminine looking girl is not very cool, she will not like the look of herself in a dress. It will not fit with the image of herself she wants to project. If she gets positive feedback from the group that is informing her ideas, then she is comfortable. If some other (non-cool) group compliments her on a day she must wear a dress, it not only does not make her feel good about the dress, but extra bad, because this is the group that she wants to distance herself from. A common occurrence, ever since the invention of teenagers, right?

After all, the great philosopher, Willam Martin Joel, said, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun." Of course, if he had written that in today's jargon, he would have put it more like, "I'd rather crusade with the alternative lifestyle warriors than bitterly cling to the Bible and maybe a gun." His way was a bit catchier.

If any of you reading are over the age of, say 40- ish, you may be realizing that being one of the sinners was not indeed the fun we once thought. It may have seemed so in the moment, but some of us are still reaping the "rewards"of some of our Billy Joel moments, and may now know better.

So, you get where I am going. There is no non-conformity. There is no edginess. There is no such thing as standing up to societies norms. There is only choosing who/what you will conform to. No human person can reinvent the wheel of what it is to be human. We can have a personal style, a way of being in the world, but when we base it on rebellion against xyz, we are fooling ourselves.

Especially in our current culture. This culture dictates with an iron fist that we must never, no not ever, call a thing right or wrong. To do that is to JUDGE (gasp). Oh, but wait a sec, there are some things which not only are we free to judge, but in fact MUST be judged, and we will be told how.

1. Do not ever utter a word against any (xyz) "alternative" lifestyle. (read: homosexual) You are then the worst person who ever lived on the earth.  (No distinction between the person and the lifestyle is allowed to be made).

2. DO rant and rave about anyone who does believe in God, who does believe there is objective truth, and paint them as The Oppressor. This is by far the coolest eh-vehr position to have. Those people need to be silenced. They may not breathe the same air as the cool ones.

Here is the Wisdom of the Ages from the Bible:

What has been, will be again. What has been done, will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:9


We all share the cloak of humanity. We are, at once, all individuals, and all a collective. God treats each one with the utmost respect by giving us free will that He will not violate. But, our human condition can only innovate so much until we just repeat the same mistakes over and over.

Pride is our hallmark. The "I will not serve" that is resident in all our hearts, has been with us since the Fall. When we think we are going against the mainstream, when we think we have found a way to call everything  "okay" and thus create peace, we are just repeating what ancient societies have tried over and over. All to just escape that awful thing that is labeled Conformity, or worst of all Obedience.


The grand irony, is that the most counter-cultural thing of all is to be radically obedient to Christ. To bow our heads and our hearts to the ultimate Truth. If you want to go completely against the current Norm, try to be a faithful Christian. It ain't easy. You will be opposed at every turn. You will be opposed by the people you love the most. By family. Friends. Yes, the dreaded Society.

This is what takes real courage, real risk. Want to be stretched intellectually? Try reading St. Thomas Aquinas. Try reading the Church Fathers. Those guys used their intellects to the degree which, for us, would be the breaking point.

In the Gospel, in the Church, resides the Ultimate rebellion. Christ destroys death. It can't get any edgier than that. The Radical of Radicals, He hung on the cross, that so we would not ultimately lose our lives, he gave His.

Oh, you can say that you aren't going to go along with how God made you in some way, you can dress yourself as whatever you want, you can yell at the top of your lungs against Him all day long. Try as we might, none of us can defeat reality, defeat Truth. There is one certain Prince of Darkness that would love for all of us to go on trying. He has already lost that war, but misery loves company, and he would love to have us as company for eternity. However, God has seen to it that we can be happy with Him forever, in the great Company of the Angels and the Saints, of life and love.

We will all face our own earthly death.The great leveler of playing fields. The human condition that we all share. It will not matter then how we have dressed ourselves up, only if we have dressed our souls with Christ.

There is no human on earth right now that He has not died for. No one who is out of the reach of His love.

Try reading  this aloud to yourself, slowly. I dare you.

 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.  You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,  even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!  They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.  Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?  I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.  Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139

Humility and being changed

Bob and I were blessed this past weekend to be able to attend The Jesus Retreat. We spent most of our time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, or in praise and worship before Him, at Mass, confession -- and quite a bit of eating and a little sleeping. It was like Extreme Exposure to Jesus in a beautiful setting (Black Rock Retreat Center) and our one and only time away together since our now infamous honeymoon at the Bates Motel, er, I mean, the Globe Inn.

This is one of the songs sung during worship.

 This recording is the International House of Worship, (IHOP, I kid you not) in Kansas City, Missouri. They are not Catholic, but they do an awesome job with what they have! The Prayer Room offers prayer, praise and worship around the clock. What a beautiful, dedicated group of young people. There is a desire among the Jesus-retreatants to see a Catholic version of IHOP emerge.




Come and let Your presence fill our praise, fill our praise,
Come and let Your presence fill this place.
We have come to give You highest praise, highest praise,
We have come to love You in this place.
It’s all for You, here we are, here we are
For You are the One we want to meet
Jesus shine through all the praises that we sing


Here is what our group actually looked like:

The worship band at the retreat was every bit as good, and with good Catholic teaching and leadership, not to mention the Blessed Sacrament, you can imagine the power flowing from this place during our time there. I can honestly say that I came away changed.

My husband has not had a whole lot of exposure to Charismatic worship, but he did well, and was also blessed. We had a conversation with another retreat-goer over one of the many delicious and hearty meals (the retreat was held in Quarryville, which is just into Amish country, and the food reflected that :). this man was a convert , as I am, and also like me, familiar with Charismatic praise and worship. He had a spot-on observation; that the foundation of being able to raise your hands in praise or speak in tongues requires humility. Being willing to look foolish, to speak in a language that sounds like baby talk to others. Being willing to open ourselves up to God in the presence of others.

We were taught that worshiping publicly was something God blessed, and indeed , that was our experience. Not just an experience for experience's sake, but one that we knew was an encounter with God, which, once you have, makes an indelible mark. How could it not?

I am intensely grateful to Jesus for making a way for us to get there. I pray we will be able to go again next year, and anyone else who may want/need this, I recommend it.

So what has changed, you may ask?

 I'm going to tell you, even if you weren't going to ask.

1. Peace. It's just there. I am not worried about all the many things I usually worry about. We were prayed over by a few wonderful people, and the words they said to us were like laser-beamingly what we needed to hear. We came away knowing that the Lord cares about the things we are struggling with and the people we worry about. Did we know that before? Yes. Did we benefit from hearing the words tenderly spoken by total strangers right to the core of our hearts? You betcha.

2.  Renewed love and desire to be in the Lord's presence at Mass and Adoration. I wanted it before, but lots of things would tend to interfere. Now, I NEED it and, with His help, little will stop me. I just realize more now, how much I need Him to live, and to have any possibility of doing His will.

3. The lifting of the Perpetual Guilt Voice that ran on loop in my mind, keeping me from saying or doing things that the Lord might have wanted. One of the words spoken over me directly identified this and virtually freed me from this way of thinking. Also in confession I was given beautiful direction about this. It is like having Holy Roto-Rooter done to my spirit. The bricks were removed from my shoulders.

4. Hope. I just have higher expectations about my family, my life and future. Not expecting the Red Carpet from here on out, but just knowing how much Jesus is involved has heightened my trust that our lives are in His hands, and He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



I am confident that He did more than I could have asked or thought, and that the fruit of this time has yet to be fully realized.

Your presence is all I am longing for

Here in the secret place

Your nearness is all I am waiting for

Here in the quiet place,

Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone

Like the watchmen wait for dawn

Here I’ve finally found the place

Where we’ll meet, Lord, face to face

I’ve finally found where I belong,

I’ve finally found where I belong in Your presence

I’ve finally found where I belong,

To be with You, to be with You

I am my Beloved’s and He is mine,

So come into Your garden and take delight in me

Take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest

Here in Your presence, God

Sandy

So here we go folks! Hang on to your hats! And pray. Please pray. Ultimately, our God supplies ALL our needs and knows every hair on our heads. He is the One we can trust during all the storms of life. Yes, prepare. Yes, do everything you know how to to help mitigate possibly having to stay inside without power for at least three days. I know the local govt. and power companies are readying for widespread power outages, but they won't be able to get out until the storm has passed.
I have already noticed people being a little kinder to one another, and having to stay in together can be a welcome time away from the fast pace of everyday life.

I know of at least a couple people in harm's way, very close to the NJ coast. For them I especially pray.

For us, so far it has mainly been cleaning up and cooking things, anticipating the loss of power


Psalm 91:14-16

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."


Luke 21:18
But not a hair of your head will perish.. 


I am asking the Lord to have mercy on all in Sandy's path and that all might know that He is their rock and salvation, and it is He that holds our hand.

Prayer of Entrustment to the Divine Mercy

O Lord, our God.
We place our trust in You,
Because you are mercy itself.
We repent of our sins and turn to You for mercy.
We trust You to provide for our every need, according to Your will.
Help us to forgive others as You forgive us.
We promise to be merciful by our deeds, words and prayers.
Though we have fears because of human weakness, we rely on Your infinite goodness and mercy.
We entrust to You the future of our planet, our Church, our nations, our families and all our needs. 
With loud cries we implore your mercy on us and on the whole world.
Look upon us, created in your image and likeness.
Form us in the Heart of Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit into the living images of mercy.
May all come to know the depth of Your mercy and sing the praises of Your mercy forever. Amen!

If you wish you can pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet-

Divine Mercy Chaplet

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross, 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

I do not hate you

I feel I must say this, or suffer the consequences in some form, whether it be an ulcer or the regret of being silent when I should not be.

Being a Catholic, Conservative, and (usually) Republican in Philadelphia is not a comfortable thing. But being maligned, misrepresented, and (to give benefit of the doubt where applicable), misunderstood, has been tough. I have lost some dear friends. Now, I am not whining, because I understand that to do one's best to follow Christ is to at times incur all of those things. But as the Presidential campaign heats up, and the verbal bombs are lobbed from one camp to another, I want to say a few things.

Bashing the Catholics and conservatives has become a pop culture badge of honor. It's so hip to slap labels on us. Depending on their origin, it goes from unintelligent,  "shiny objects" (DWS), to, racists, bigots, greedy wealth-hoarders, or war mongers. And don't forget hate-filled.

While I could very easily counter every one of those un-thought out labels, what I mainly want to clarify is this.

 I am your fellow human being.  

I may not agree with you on everything.

 I may not completely understand you.  

    But I do not hate you.

The political movers and shakers, mainly on the left, have found a few buzz words that are very effective and have plied them freely via every media vehicle available. It was so effective that even some people, in 2008, who identified themselves as Catholics or conservatives or what have you, suddenly felt that not to vote for Barack Obama was to embody all those labels, especially the H word.

I think that to fundamentally disagree with someone should not mean giving up your voice entirely in favor of dodging the difficult discussions. 

Sadly, some real hateful speech flies pretty freely in our direction. It is accepted and  popular now. I could, again, name names and specifics, but I am choosing not to go there right now. It's all a matter of record.

Disagreement     ≠        Hate

 


I have the responsibility to speak the truth at all times, with humility, and in love. As I had to explain to one of my daughters the other day, truly loving someone means NEVER lying to them to smooth things over. ALL my kids know that I love them to the ends of the earth and back again. For example, I will not lie and say that unmarried cohabitation is really okay. I will share my own heartbreak and failures at having tried that. But I will keep right on loving them if they make that choice. I will love their boyfriends/girlfriends. I will take them shopping, laugh, cry, joke, and be here for them.  There is no hate in the equation.

There is fear that some choices can lead in a direction that could possibly drag them ultimately to hell. I will work at living, loving, and praying them away from that end. I lay awake last night praying this:

Listen, I am not the author of Truth or the Universe. I am bound to love and serve the Savior who loves and saved me.  But He loved and died for the whole world. He does not hate anyone.

There are many, many great people, some great thinkers of history, who have died for love of Christ. I submit to any that would brush off all believers with easy, lazy reasoning, to do some objective research. Read the Early Church Fathers, who lived with Jesus or those that knew Him. Pray and ask God to help you really understand. Don't be so immersed in the pop culture, make-it-up-as-they-go-along, media icons. Don't do what we are so oft accused of -- following blindly. Think and reason for yourself, and let Him reveal Himself to you.

Demonizing people of faith, as frail and flawed as we may be, is no way to go about moving "forward" in this country.

I will support Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan because I believe they will do better for ALL of us. Do I endorse every single thing they promote? No! And I will take every opportunity to communicate that, if hopefully, they win the election. 

I will not apologize for my beliefs. But if you, dear reader, believe that I would hate you for yours, you would be wrong.  I have lived and experienced the following verse.

"For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."  

Luke 7:47 

God Bless you~

+JMJ+

Kelly

heavy as a hundred bowling balls

There is a lot to pray for in our world right now. I guess that is always a true statement, but you probably know what I mean. Sometimes I really feel the weight. The state of our country, the many situations in my own family that I carry around in my heart continually, the grave situations of some of our blog-friends right now...I just walk around saying the name of Jesus all day long.

 Bob and I are going to the March for Life on Monday. I am going to be one of the Silent No More group that walks with my "I regret my abortion" sign. Then on the steps of the Supreme Court, we will give our short testimonies, one by one. ( I recently got my hair cut, and joked with the hairdresser about trying to look decent for the you tube videos that inevitably come out after). See,  I just have to find humor somewhere, or the heaviness might crush us all!

Really, I ask for your prayer support for my family. There is always that line of doing/praying and trusting, that changes all the time, and I have a hard time keeping up.
Also for our trip to DC on Monday, and for all who are on the front lines of this battle. That the world would recognize the fifty million lost lives, and those who are planning to have their babies join that statistic.


Lord Jesus, look on us with mercy, and help us find our way.

~intermission~

Well, I now have a cold. It is not at the top level of Things that Bring Suffering to Humanity; but up there in terms of Things that Annoy the Heck Out of Me. So I am using this reasoning to write just whatever comes to mind right now, as I am doubtful that my pounding head will think in an organized enough fashion to provide the next installment of Salvation History.

I have been technically awake since 6:30 AM. I think I started coming out of the fog around noon. At this rate, I should have both shoes on by dinnertime. I thought Day-Quil was non drowsy? I am doing a little better now, though; debating between trying to keep my exercise program going and taking a nap. Or reading a little more of The 33 Doctors of the Church. Which could possibly lead to that nap. No, I really am interested in the book!  I just tend to read in bed. Really!

Today, since I am having one of those not -getting- much- accomplished days, it has made me think again about what drives me and why. Really, I think I should be content, and even thrilled that I have the opportunity to do less and even nap if I want! But there is that inner gremlin that is not happy if I haven't been busy every minute and especially if there is no physical evidence that I have done anything. You are all witnesses that I have at least sat and typed this.

One of my inner longings is to be able to explore and pursue contemplative prayer. Given the paragraph above, it seems pretty funny!  Kind of like Moses with his speech impediment and all. Only I want to do this. Hopefully, I won't feel as though I have to clean the whole house before I can begin each time. I can see two possible outcomes; 1. I will give up, or 2. I will have a really clean house. It is terrible having the two drives...one to sit and pray and read and write; and the other- to be up and moving. Right now I am eyeing the floor that needs vacuuming and the dishes in the sink.

It's no coincidence that my birthday falls on the feast of Saint Martha. In my heart, I'm all with Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, and just being, listening and absorbing. But my outsides are Martha, itching to move and Do Stuff.  Unless we're talking about the hours after dinner! By then, both Martha and Mary have got up and gone home. I dislike having to go out of the house in the evenings. Any of the things that force me out at that time are met with considerable grumbling. Fun things, good things, spiritual things, doesn't matter. If  I have to, once I get wherever I am going, all is fine. It's just the comfortable evening time, the after dinner cup of coffee and promise of possible dessert, the waning of the sun and the pleasant evening air--all give me feet covered in glue if disturbed.

Crossword puzzle anyone?

salvation history part one

I have had another dear friend suggest I write about my conversion and how I met my husband. My organizational side likes to go chronologically.

I believe conversions begin way before the actual event. Maybe from birth. I won't do that to you, but I will give you some points along the way.

I was raised Presbyterian. It was a nice church, nice people, very good music and choir. I will always remember Theodore Kloos, the choir director. But in other ways, the church was a largely social experience. The teaching from the pulpit I remember as being light on Jesus and what He did for us, and heavy on , uh...? not sure. My first taste of Catholicism was there. We said the Apostles Creed. The part, "I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church"... was explained to us that it didn't mean we were Catholic. I forget now what the rest of the explanation was.

In High School, I began to search for God and a place or group that would help me encounter Him. How I was to recognize Him, I wasn't sure. So, I went to a Quaker Meeting. "Meeting" is a funny term, because I never met anybody. We never spoke to one another. It was a silent gathering, and people would stand up and say things...I forget now what. Funny-either I have a particularly bad memory, or the sermons/talks in the two churches were particularly forgettable. But I stayed with it for some months, and in retrospect, I am sure God was leading me and speaking to me throughout. I just didn't know it.

Later in High School, I was asked to sing at a fledgling American Baptist church in a gymnasium of a local Elementary school. They were just starting out in our area and were grateful for music. But I latched on to the teaching, especially the parts about having a personal relationship with God. One Sunday, I said the sinner's prayer, and later joined the church. On my 18th birthday, I was baptized. Since I was singing and playing there, my mother and brother Jerry also came to hear me. They both ended up joining the church also. I am grateful that this happened, as they each passed away a few years later, and they died knowing Christ.

Interestingly, I had a few experiences that illustrate that there actually was a struggle going on for my soul. These are just the ones I know about.

During my "searching period", I had to read the book, The Stranger, by Albert Camus. This book, I felt, didn't have much I wanted to write about. If memory serves, it is about a man in jail, despairing of everything in life, and planning his suicide. I put off writing it until the last possible night, then finally decided to just get something on paper. As I was writing, I realized I was going in the direction of agreement with the premise, and although I knew I didn't agree, felt I just needed to finish the darn paper. Afterward I went to bed. I then had a dream about presenting the paper to my teacher. In the dream, I took her by the hand and led her from room to room, in a starkly white house; each room representing each point I made in my paper. Well, the "points" got uglier and uglier, until the final one, in which I opened a door to show her a bloody, hanging corpse. Against the whiteness of everything in the house, this scene stood out in extreme contrast, and at this point, I woke up.

The first thing I noticed, aside from being scared to death, was that I was laying face down, diagonally across my bed. The covers were all over the place, the room was really hot, and...I felt as though someone was in the room watching me. I knew I was going to have to eventually move, so I said some sort of prayer, got up and ran downstairs. As I stood in the familiar dining room, hearing my fathers snores, I then felt foolish. I'm not sure how long it took, but I did go back up to my room, and took a look at it. It still was blazingly hot, so I went over to the space heater and noticed it had been turned all the way up! I knew I had not done that. I straightened out all the sheets and blankets that were all jumbled about, and decided to turn on my radio to help me calm down. When I did, all that came out was static. The dial had been turned all the way to the end, and I knew I had been listening to it right before bed and had just shut it off. I put it back to the station, lay down and went to sleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up and it was late! I always had my alarm set for 6AM, and it was something like 8:00. So I ran around getting ready, but stopped a minute to see why my alarm hadn't gone off. It had been shut off completely. Something else I never did.

After I had a chance to think about this, I came to two conclusions. On the practical, physical level, I believe that I was truly disturbed about having written this paper. In my dream, as I attempted to justify all my points, I think that as I was walking from room to room, explaining it to my teacher, I was actually walking around my room, doing things like, turning the radio dial, turning the heater dial, and turning off my alarm clock. But the other thing, the feeling of the presence in the room, I now believe was some evil force, or demon, or whatever, exerting it's influence over a person searching for God. Since my mind and heart at that time were very open, I think I was vulnerable. At least whatever teaching I did have up to that point gave me a foundation enough to know evil from good. And I sure felt the presence of evil that night. Of course I know now that I also had a guardian angel keeping me safe on my journey.


Oh and after going through all that, I only got a B on the paper.


I will continue my story next time, there was another attempted intervention on my quest for God.---so stay tuned!---lol.

Blessings and Peace,
Kelly