The Annunciation

At the Annunciation, Jesus is bodily present on this earth for the first time. Mary's yes was the vehicle for that.  St. Maximilian Kolbe calls her the spouse of the Holy Spirit.

There were times when I used to wonder what would have happened if Mary had hesitated, or said no. Sinless though she was, she was still 100% human. Her purity only made it possible for her to be completely open to God, but she still was not forced or programmed. I read in the Magnificat that her yes sprang from an absence of cynicism, and an acceptance of possibility in the face of what seemed impossible.

 As limited as my understanding of Mary is, the Annunciation is to me the pivotal moment in history that brings the presence of Jesus alive on earth, and begins the great event of His sacrifice on our behalf. Mary had, if you will, a front row seat to WWJD for 33 years. We adore His presence at Adoration and each Sunday; she was in His presence almost continually. She was already sinless, but all of that proximity to her divine son must have had a radiating effect. As standing in the sun would have a physical effect.

St. Louis de Montfort, in his prayer to Mary, includes this passage:


The only grace I beg thee to obtain for me is that every day and every moment of my life I may say: Amen, So be it--to all that thou didst do while on earth; Amen, so be it--to all that thou art now doing in Heaven; Amen, so be it--to all that thou art doing in my soul, so that thou alone mayest fully glorify Jesus in me for time and eternity. Amen.


I say the three Amens often, after receiving our Lord in the Eucharist.

I rest in the fact that I don't have to know everything in order to trust in everything. Mary only ever leads to Jesus. Jesus only ever leads to the Father. The Father's only desire is to see us happy with Him in heaven forever.

Happy Feast day!

Kelly

7 quick Mary-from-a-convert's-POV takes

 This past week, a lovely lady in Mexico happened upon this blog and read ALL my posts, and commented on a good number. In one comment, she said, "...He's been struggling with reaching out to Mary (it's the "problem of Mary" thing with us converts) and I've been asking her to bridge the gap. She is so faithful!"

I can understand the feeling of foreign-ness associated with the veneration of the Blessed Mother for those of us who were taught that Mary was important, but not so much as to overshadow or compete with Jesus for our affections. And definitely taught to fear how Catholics "worshipped" her and other saints. Even going so far as to make idols in the form of statues. Okay.

I could copy and paste passages from the Catechism. But anyone could go and look that up as easily as I could. Instead, I am going to give you my experience and thoughts about embracing Mary from my perspective as a convert.

1. Newsflash for those thinking of going to RCIA. You will not learn enough to sustain your faith forever. It is just a jumping off point; a place to get the nuts and bolts, and ask your questions. The Catholic faith is a deep well of which no human ever gets to the bottom. We are talking about God here, and our minds can only comprehend so much of Him. Though really, it is a matter of the heart.  Knowing, loving, and serving God does not require a PHD, just a willing heart. But having TOO little teaching, or even worse, BAD teaching, will do a big injustice to you in your life as a Catholic. At worst, you may give up altogether. That can potentially have the most dire consequences there are.

So here are a few great sources for converts, besides the Catechism:

--Scott Hahn. A convert himself, and Bible Scholar. He words things in a way people that were not raised Catholic can understand. Sometimes, Catholics don't know they are speaking Catholic-speak.
One good one is Rome Sweet Home, but there are scores of works.

--Father Corapi. Yes I know the controversy. But I also know His teaching was as solid as anything out there. If you can get hold of any of his books or recordings about the catechism or the Rosary, He explains Mary in a way that dispels all doubt. One thing I remember Fr. Corapi frequently said  was, "If she is good enough for Jesus, she is good enough for me."


2. Logic. Here is the way I thought about accepting the Church's teaching:

A.  Do I ask people here on earth to pray for me?
B. Do I usually pick the ones I know pray a lot and love God?
C. Do I believe that Christians who die (eventually) go to heaven? (Not doing Purgatory here, that is for another post).
D. Are they still alive there?
E. Do I think Mary was a Christian believer?
F. Do I think she went to heaven?

If I believe all of the above, why then, would I have any reservation in asking her to pray for me? Because that is ALL we are doing. We are asking her to intercede for us. Something we have no trouble asking of another imperfect human, we can ask the Mother of Our Lord. Why would anyone not want to do this?

 

                                                                               Our Lady of Czestochowa



                                  Queen of Heaven

3. The Doctrine of Mary is a large topic. She has scores of Titles. Queen of Peace. Mother of Perpetual Help, Our Lady of Good Counsel (pictured on my sidebar), Mother of Mercy, Theotokos (God-Bearer). Hundreds of Titles. All highlighting a different aspect. I could never accurately teach anyone the entirety of what there is to know about her. I only know a thimbleful myself. But I do know that Church teaching about her is backed up in history and scripture. The archangel Gabriel would not be ABLE to spout heresy. But he said to her, "Hail, full of grace (a title),"and "blessed are you among women."

4. The Rosary. Again, not an exhaustive treatise about the Rosary here. Just a few observations.

-- A quote from Father Corapi; "To pray the Rosary is to pray the Gospel." Think about that. The Mysteries walk us through the life of Jesus. The life of who? Mary? No. Jesus. Mary always points us to Jesus. One of her few recorded quotes is "Listen to Him."

The text of the Rosary is taken from the prayer Jesus gave us, the Our Father. The Hail Mary prayer is taken directly from the words of scripture. Gabriel's words; "Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed Art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus." And then a plea for her intercession. Holy Mary, Mother of God (Jesus=God. Christians should not have a problem with this?) pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Years back, I heard a speaker at a (gasp) Charismatic conference say this-"Praying the Rosary changed my life." That statement alone was so powerful that I wanted to try it. I was a new Catholic then, and not in the habit of praying the Rosary. By the way, another speaker at that conference was Father Raniero Cantalamessa preacher to the Papal household. Even Papa Benedict XVI.

 Anyway, the praying of the Rosary contains great power. But! you may say, I pray right to Jesus, in my own words, from my heart!  Yes! By all means. But if you are thinking that the Rosary falls under the "empty repetition"  category, please refer to number 3. No emptiness there. The repetition keeps us meditating on the life of Jesus for more than two seconds, slows us down enough that we might give God a chance to bless our ever-wandering-and-rushing-about selves. I don't know if that is the reason for the number of Hail Marys but it makes sense to me.

5.A really big reason for praying the Rosary. Humility. Heck a really big reason for believing in Jesus at all. We understand that we humans are the created, not the Creator. We don't make the sun come up in the morning. Some of us can hardly make ourselves get up in the morning!

Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, "The rosary is the book of the blind, where souls see and there enact the greatest drama of love the world has ever known; it is the book of the simple, which initiates them into mysteries and knowledge more satisfying than the education of other men; it is the book of the aged, whose eyes close upon the shadow of this world, and open on the substance of the next. The power of the rosary is beyond description."

To have any obedience to Jesus in His Church at all, we first have to get off the throne of our life. Some things may not make sense to us at first. Some teachings may really make us upset. BUT. If we understand that it is we whose minds and hearts are fallen and deficient, and we who don't understand, we can trust God and be docile to the Church and ultimately, to God. So many seem to want God and the Church to jump through all THEIR hoops, and to conform to their own ideas. That, sadly, is much of what makes it to the headlines. I am pretty certain Jesus doesn't put much stock in headlines.

6. I still pray directly to Jesus. But I now love to talk with Mary, and pour out my hopes, fears, worries and day to day struggles. She understands from a woman's and a mother's standpoint, which to me, is huge. My own mother passed away when I was 23. When I married, I chose a ring that has sapphires.  Because, as I told my husband, "if I can't have my earthly mother at our wedding, at least I can have the Blessed Mother." (blue stones=Mary, just in case...)

7. My humble suggestion. Pray the Rosary. Every day. If you cannot get through five decades, do one at first. Say yes to God as Mary did. She didn't demand to know everything beforehand. She trusted God. And if you really want to get to know Mary-- go through the Consecration. There is a link up on my sidebar. I try to do this three times a year or so. There is another version, called, 33 Days to Morning Glory, which I also really like. The original one is a bit more formal, but both are life-changing.

Peace! 

Kelly

A post-a-day #2. rearranging the house and the heart

Like my daughter Meghann, I buy plants first, ask questions later. Such as, "where will this possibly go?"  This beautiful baby hydrangea had take-me-home vibes coming off it in waves. I guess it felt the Arrangement of living at Trader Joe's in Center City wasn't working out. It needed a commitment. It proceeded to look at me with its little plaintive pink and green blooms till I couldn't withstand it any longer.
The light out front is right by the textbook (east-facing) so, we'll see. The heat wave last week with temps over 100 degrees required several waterings a day.

Right next to him are my Michigan ferns. So named because Meghann dug up a few for me to bring home. They are also very thirsty. I visit these and the hydrangea every morning first thing. It is nice to have this little piece of Michigan here in the South of Philly.

 I also have this lovely wall sconce, given to me by Meghann, which she took right off her kitchen wall! She has something else in mind for that spot, and she knows of my affinity for wrought iron.

 After taking this picture, I felt it needed to be flanked with a little more color, so I swapped out the picture on the left with this one.

A little blurry, but another nice momento from my last visit with Meghann. We each painted the tree painting at a fun art class that included beer. And for me, sunburn.







Taking away the first picture necessitated putting it elsewhere, so it ended up in my kitchen.

 --which displaced another few things--some went over here--

 which left this one piece out--

Aannnnd--okay! I give up. I stubbed my toe on a chair and hammered a finger. I give! 

*breaking news* no, really, I mean it. The stubbed toe is indeed broken.

One other little fun thing I want to share is my back "yard." It is where I keep all the rest of my growing things and hang up laundry and read and sunbathe.

my "tumbling tom" --from -- you guessed it -- Michigan. Kalamazoo Farmers Market, to be exact.







I keep the little jewels here until we are ready to eat them.

Here is what I look at while sitting out there.

 

 miniature roses

 The little rustic corner that makes a very pleasant vignette. The ivy in the pot is a rescue from an almost dead plant. The "weeds" growing around everything migrated out of the bed. These were also brought home from Michigan last year. (We thought we had dug up tiger lilies). Actually they are called "common-day flowers." Little purple-blue flowers open in the morning and close later. And some basil and a few colors of begonias. A cat gets in there every now and then and uproots the pink begonias. If it so happens that my neighbor is reading this--please stop letting your kitty out to use my little corner of Escape-from-the-city as his potty.


And this is what I look up at and out from under. It is peaceful.

All this adds greatly to my peace of mind and helps me take time out from the goings on of the world.

Along with doing the Marian consecration--

--this one--










 I am reading this.   

My copy is not this fancy. 

It is not a super quick read, but not difficult either. Just very pithy. I can read and re-read it, and always be taught something new.


Here is where I am in it right now:

"To humble myself I resolve to do such and such things, to suffer such and such humiliations. I desire to change my life and henceforward to follow my Creator and to find honor in the state of being he has given me, employing it entirely in obedience to his will..."


As I have said to Bob many times, the vocation of parenthood affords one the automatic blessing of having built-in humiliations and opportunities for making sacrifices. We are taught daily about how to go beyond ourselves, and if seen as the good that it is, it is a light burden indeed.

The part about finding "honor in the state of being he has given me," has been unusually eye opening. I mean, yes, yes, we all know it is an honor to be a spouse, a parent, a child of God in any vocation--BUT-- to think of where I am, where you are in your life right. this. minute. as something he has given to us. Now that is something to consider.

Anyways, I just barely made it in time to still date this post today!

See you tomorrow!

Jesus probably spit up. And other thoughts on babies this Christmas.

The Bible has several examples of babies that were conceived for a purpose that would shape history. Abraham and Sarah, who were of advanced age; Sarah being barren, conceived Issac. Then Isaac's wife, Rebekah, was barren and was granted the ability to conceive, bore Jacob and Esau. Manoah prayed that his barren wife conceive and she was visited by and angel and bore Samson.  John the Baptist, born to the aged Zachariah and his barren wife Elizabeth. And the most well known conception, the Virgin Mary who bore Jesus. (Both John and Jesus were announced to them by the Archangel Gabriel).  There probably are others, but these are all that come to mind now and are sufficient to bear my point.

All these people were essential in salvation history. All were purposefully conceived and God made sure to point out His role in their conception. All entered the world for a grand purpose.

Now take into account Christ's words in Matthew 11-11.

Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

Dr.Tim Keller says, In one of the most overlooked passages in the Bible, Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest prophet in history, and then added that every single believer is now greater in position and calling than him. (Matthew 11:9–11) ‘The least in the kingdom of God is greater than he [John the Baptist.]‘ What did Jesus mean? He couldn’t mean that every Christian believer would be more courageous or more godly than John the Baptist. (I know that I’m not!)

 At mass yesterday, Fr. Kelley pointed out that the conception of EVERY baby is willed by God. 
 And how Jesus' own words bear that out.  I can hear the outraged cries now. What about conceptions as a result of rape and incest!!? Well, what about them? Think about this. Is getting pregnant and having a baby a bad thing? Is it, as our president famously stated about his own daughters, a punishment?  Perhaps a woman doesn't feel ready or her conception was a surprise. (Tradition states that Mary was 14).  The thing that stands out most to me is the mindset of all the women given these "special assignments"by God. they were either barren, elderly, or in Mary's case, very young and unmarried. They all saw childbirth as a badge of honor. Mary's response being the crown, the Magnificat:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior; for He has looked with favor on His lowly servant From this day all generations shall call me blessed. The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name He has mercy on those who fear Him in every generation. He has shown the strength of His arm, He has scattered the proud in their conceit. He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and has lifted up the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty. He has come to the help of His servant Israel for He has remembered His promise of mercy, the promise He made to our fathers, to Abraham and his children forever. Amen

 Mary lived to please God and her response was full of the grace she received from Him at her conception. All the other women did not have this special grace but were grateful to God for their babies anyway.

So back to the objection. I have a question. Have you ever known a woman that had a baby and it changed her life? I am one, and I know many others. Suddenly, her life had a completely different focus and purpose. Maybe some of her old ways of thinking and doing things faded away in light of this greater thing that happened. Maybe she was able to see beyond herself and her own problems because her baby helped her look to the future. A baby conceived in a negative way can have a positive effect on the mother. If her mindset is one that knows the conceived child's life is willed by God and has a particular purpose in the world, and that she is helping to bring that about. If she can see past the right now and know that a child can help make a mother a better person. That she is, in essence, saving that child, who does not have to grow up with a negative stigma, but seen as a gift that came from a bad act, if that was the case, and who defied that bad act by being something beautiful.

And for mothers -- Mary is often seen with a sword through her heart. We care so much for our children that we often can relate to that. Right now, I think of the poor mothers (and fathers) of the slain children in Connecticut and know that are living that sword most literally. But Mary is, at the very same time, full of grace. We can also experience Extreme Grace because we cooperated with God in bearing and raising our children. With every woman's yes, comes the grace to have and to raise our children. My prayer for the parents of the Sandy Hook tragedy is that they would be flooded with grace. 

I never would have believed that I could raise seven. Never. God has given the grace, and still is, to help me, despite my many sins and failings, to do this. He will do it for you. And every mother that says yes to the life He ordained within her.

If you are pregnant, and need any kind of help. there are pregnancy help centers all over the country. If you cannot find one in your local directory, your local Catholic church may be able to direct you. 

If you say yes to God regarding the baby you are carrying, even if you give him up for adoption and bless a childless couple, God WILL  show you His grace and mercy and do a wonderful work in your life. If your mind and heart are open to Him. If you are only open to the voices that tell you an abortion is just one choice and will be quick and easy, beware that lie. Beware it. Your life will not be the same, no matter how much you will it. 

Here are a few images of the Virgin and Child that I love.

I feature this one, Mother of Good Counsel, on my sidebar.  It is an ancient image, said to have been etched in the wall of a cave somewhere in the 400s, connected with miraculous healings and protection. Now it is in the care of some Augustinian nuns in Italy (I think). I just love the baby Jesus hanging on her neckline. It is just what babies do! And apparently, always have done.

This one is by Donatello. Not the ninja turtle. Again, it shows them in a sweet moment, just like any other mother and baby. I have always believed Jesus was like all babies, needing his mother all hours of the day and night, crying, spitting up on her best clothes, etc.. Not like some tiny adult in a baby costume. (ew).

 And this sketch of DaVinci. Apparently the Joseph and Mary household had a cat. Love it.



Don't forget to thank Mary this Christmas! She had that special grace, it's true. But Joseph didn't (poor guy! the only sinner in the house!) And Jesus still probably had ear infections and runny noses from time to time. And didn't want his mashed peas, or whatever they mashed back then for their babies. But I still like this image, even though it is less the human and more the divine.

 Have a wonderful, blessed, happy and holy Christmas! 

Kelly

 

7 quick disjointed takes in which the Blessed Mother makes an appearance

1.  Thanks to an incredibly lovely friend who hand delivered this book when the US mail couldn't--I am now doing the Marian Consecration with it.







It is proving to be a huge blessing. In the introduction, there is this:

 "...God is offering the people of our time a powerful and effective way to become great saints, and it's not because we're so good. Rather, it's because our times are so perilous, and God wants his mercy to triumph through Mary. So, he gives us poor, sinful souls an amazing gift -- what St. Louis calls a little known "secret":

             Poor children of Mary, your weakness is extreme, your inconstancy is great, your inward nature is very much corrupted. You are drawn (I grant it) from the same corrupt mass as all the children of Adam and Eve. Yet do not be discouraged because of that. Console yourselves and exult in having the secret which I will teach you -- a secret unknown to almost all Christians, even the most devout."

I don't know about you, but as life goes on, I am more and more aware that I am not so good, and do not have the ability within myself to become so. All help accepted.

2. I am currently on Day Eight, on which begins the section on Maximillian Kolbe. Today began a little sketch of his life. This story is included:

"...Raymond Kolbe, who in 1894 was born into a poor, Polish farming family. And from the beginning, one wouldn't have guessed he'd eventually become a great saint. In fact, one day, his mother was so frustrated with his behavior that she yelled at him in exasperation: 'Raymond, what will become of you?!' This shook the boy to the core. Filled with grief, he immediately turned to the Mother of God, asking her, 'What will become of me?'  Then he went to a church and repeated his question. The future saint recounted what happened next:

Then the Virgin Mother appeared to me holding in her hands two crowns, one white and one red. She looked at me with love and she asked me if I would like to have them. The white meant that I would remain pure and the red that I would be a martyr.

 I answered yes, I wanted them. Then the Virgin looked at me tenderly and disappeared."

If you dare to ask God direct questions and are open to His answer, whatever it may be, buckle your seatbelt. Just a heads up.

3. I occasionally like to remind myself and my dear readers why I write this blog. It is to tell my story of continuing conversion to Christ and what happened along the way. I greatly suspect there are many who can relate and who may need to hear that they are Loved by the Creator of the universe even though they may have not led an exemplary life in the past or the present. I am here to say that it is never too late to take one tiny step toward God and humbly admit the need of His help. He then takes many giant, running strides toward the penitent and proceeds to fill them with His love. That's how He rolls. (hint--story of the prodigal son...)

Another reason I blog is to witness to life and tell my story of having aborted my first child.Contrary to the popular myth of our time, this is not a healthy choice made by an enlightened modern woman who then trips merrily along with the rest of her enlightened life. Any honest woman will attest to this.

4. Lately, I have been remembering this book that I read some time ago. Most especially how God cannot be outdone in generosity, and then as I was reading the book in #1 above, I read that the Blessed Mother cannot be outdone in generosity. hmmmm---think God is sending me some kind of message? Not sure -- but if I am clobbered with a sledgehammer for being so dense I will blog about it from the ER.



5.

People I love and miss. You too, Jeff! I just really like this picture :)

6. Politics in a nutshell. Going to Hell in a handbasket. Next!

7.  Seriously--hope each and  every person who reads here has a blessed Thanksgiving! I will try to remember to take pictures and post them. Last year, we mostly looked like a gathering of the comatose. We'll try to look a little more lively this time. Maybe do photos before dinner. Anyways! I would love to see photos of some of your Thanksgiving gatherings! 

~God Bless You~

Kelly

+JMJ+

 

~intermission~

Well, I now have a cold. It is not at the top level of Things that Bring Suffering to Humanity; but up there in terms of Things that Annoy the Heck Out of Me. So I am using this reasoning to write just whatever comes to mind right now, as I am doubtful that my pounding head will think in an organized enough fashion to provide the next installment of Salvation History.

I have been technically awake since 6:30 AM. I think I started coming out of the fog around noon. At this rate, I should have both shoes on by dinnertime. I thought Day-Quil was non drowsy? I am doing a little better now, though; debating between trying to keep my exercise program going and taking a nap. Or reading a little more of The 33 Doctors of the Church. Which could possibly lead to that nap. No, I really am interested in the book!  I just tend to read in bed. Really!

Today, since I am having one of those not -getting- much- accomplished days, it has made me think again about what drives me and why. Really, I think I should be content, and even thrilled that I have the opportunity to do less and even nap if I want! But there is that inner gremlin that is not happy if I haven't been busy every minute and especially if there is no physical evidence that I have done anything. You are all witnesses that I have at least sat and typed this.

One of my inner longings is to be able to explore and pursue contemplative prayer. Given the paragraph above, it seems pretty funny!  Kind of like Moses with his speech impediment and all. Only I want to do this. Hopefully, I won't feel as though I have to clean the whole house before I can begin each time. I can see two possible outcomes; 1. I will give up, or 2. I will have a really clean house. It is terrible having the two drives...one to sit and pray and read and write; and the other- to be up and moving. Right now I am eyeing the floor that needs vacuuming and the dishes in the sink.

It's no coincidence that my birthday falls on the feast of Saint Martha. In my heart, I'm all with Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, and just being, listening and absorbing. But my outsides are Martha, itching to move and Do Stuff.  Unless we're talking about the hours after dinner! By then, both Martha and Mary have got up and gone home. I dislike having to go out of the house in the evenings. Any of the things that force me out at that time are met with considerable grumbling. Fun things, good things, spiritual things, doesn't matter. If  I have to, once I get wherever I am going, all is fine. It's just the comfortable evening time, the after dinner cup of coffee and promise of possible dessert, the waning of the sun and the pleasant evening air--all give me feet covered in glue if disturbed.

Crossword puzzle anyone?