Monday, November 15, 2010

keep it down to a dull roar!

I am blessed to be at home today, and alone for a few hours. I am sitting here doing this because I have sixty-four  (or was it seventy eight?)  things to do before my daughter and her family arrive here Sunday for a short but much looked forward to Thanksgiving visit. Rest assured that the blog following that will be loaded with pictures.

But before that happens.........(drum roll).............I am finally going to start receiving spiritual direction again! It's been since Father Terry was still with us. Wow. And along with that, a bit of an overdue confession. (since Father Check left us, but in a different way.) Yes, I know we are not supposed to have favorites when it comes to confession, but..really now...fess up, you know we all do. It wasn't the only reason I haven't gone, but it was a pretty big part. So today I was sitting before the Blessed Sacrament, doing some preparation for the confession, and realized a couple things. One is that it has been six months since I have gone. That's the longest stretch since I have been Catholic. another is that it is significantly harder to examine a six month conscience. Oh, yes, of course I have been "keeping track", but it's the nuances that escape me after a certain period of time goes by.  That time period is pretty short. So after this, boy, every two weeks? Well at least once a month.

Something else became pretty clear, or unclear really. As I was praying and sitting quietly, the racket in my mind was just deafening! So to speak. If there could be silent decibels, these were on the hearing loss scale. If the Lord spoke to me, I sure didn't hear Him!  Think along the lines of a train passing two feet away. I am accustomed to my usual wandering mind, but this was something else. I even sat a little extra long (for me) to try and wait it out. No.

I am sure God did whatever work He wanted anyway. I have always found that if I take steps to progress in my spiritual life, I experience opposition. Hopefully, the step I am about to take will bear fruit.


1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you're going to have that precious time to spend with your grandson and all your children. What a great Thanksgiving. I look forward to seeing the photos :-D

    I don't know if I can go 6 weeks without confession, let alone 6 months! I figure if Carmelite nuns can find something to confess once a week, so can I, although I don't go that often. Usually I can't let more than 3 weeks go by. When I first returned to the church, I had a pretty rough go of it with one priest. Amazingly, he became my favorite confessor. I just offered any "discomfort" up as a penance but honestly, so long as I had the proper humility, that particular priest was never hard on me again, and looking back, I know I "earned" his wrath by being a little too glib about what I'd done. Anyway, glad you found a priest for spiritual direction.