Wasting time with Jesus

 This was a tongue in cheek saying Father Terry used to use when referring to giving our time to spend with Jesus. :)


 While on retreat at the Carmelite monastery, we were graced with four talks given by Father McGoldrick. They were entitled;

1. Finding our place on the Sea of History
2. Duc in Altum (cast into the deep)
3. Lectio Divina
4. Drawing our life from the Eucharist

The whole day was based on JPIIs plan for the new millennium, beginning with the year 2000. Everything was so cohesive and all that we heard and learned so full of the Holy Spirit, that my rendering of any of it will be hard pressed to reflect accurately the tone or atmosphere that accompanied the day.

I don't know if I will be able to summarize and address each talk, though I took enough notes for you and for me. But the one I want to tell a bit about today is Lectio Divina. (pronounced LEX ee oh  Dih VEE nah).

 Now, any of you who know about this already, feel free to chime in. I am new to it. As an Evangelical, I read and studied my Bible. I had an NASB study bible that I loved; I used my concordance, went to weekly bible study, read through the Bible at least twice. However! Interpretation was all up for grabs. Since converting, I admit , I have been relying on the readings at mass for my scripture intake. I was a little afraid I would not know how to think about the scriptures in a "Catholic" way. Also, I got lazy. But before Lent began, I borrowed my daughters St. Joseph edition and decided I would pick up reading scripture and ask questions if I got bogged down. Next thing I knew I was at the retreat, and dear Father McG. taught us a beautiful way to read scripture. A gift.

Basically, Lectio Divina (sacred Reading)  is reading the scripture in a prayerful, personally involved way that will highlight different parts of the reading at any given time one reads it. There are preparatory prayers that help to dispose our minds and hearts to what we are about to do.

Here are Fathers suggestions, though they do not have to be these exact prayers;

Prayer to Jesus

When in the presence of the Eucharist: Jesus I make an act of faith in your Eucharistic presence, I believe you are here with me. As you sat with your disciples and revealed your mysteries to them, so now, as I sit with you and read your word, I beg you to reveal your mysteries to me.

When not in a church or chapel: Lord Jesus, in you "we live and move and have our being." I place myself humbly in your presence and beg you to make me more aware of your presence throughout the day.

Prayer to the Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit; teach me how to pray, for I do not know how to pray as I ought. Come Holy Spirit; come by means of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well-beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit.

Prayer to Mary

Mother Mary, give me your heart that I may, as good soil, receive the Word, that I may ponder these things as you did, that I may come to know Jesus as you did, that I may love Jesus as you did. Mary, it was in your womb that the Word was made flesh, give me your spirit that HE may take flesh again in me.

Prayer to the writer of the Gospel

St. [N], pray for me; teach me; share with me your own meditations on the mystery of Christ as you wrote down this Gospel.

Then choose a passage of scripture--a Gospel is a very good place to start. (Do re mi!, whoops!) Then read it closely and prayerfully. Very. Slowly. Stop. Between. Words. And. Pay . Attention. to. Them. Put yourself in the scene. Use your imagination and experience all the senses in your mind. The heat or cold, who you may be in the scene, etc. Read a small part over more than once. Repeat any part that jumps out at you. That may even be the first line; you may find yourself touched by God in some way. We are to just allow this to happen, not to be in a rush to get though the whole reading we have chosen. God may choose to meet us at that the first sentence.

Now Father went though a scripture passage with us to demonstrate. As many notes I furiously scribbled throughout the rest of the talks-- this time, aside from a few words, I couldn't. I was transfixed at how Father read and experienced that passage--and took us along with him. He read from the Gospel of John, the part where Jesus is carrying the cross and up to when He was on the cross saying His last words. Un.Believable.

Okay so that's the Readers Digest version. Yesterday afternoon, I thought I would give this a try. I thought, "I will just go through the steps, it will probably be many times before I get the hang of it."

I said the prayers as they are, as I could not conceive anything better; then chose to read the Gospel reading for this coming Sunday. John 4: 5- ( I only made it to 26). The story of the Samaritan Woman. It seemed pretty easy to cast myself as the Samaritan Woman. Perhaps too easy. As I was reading and immersing myself in the scene, it happened that I was very deeply and personally touched especially by the part where Jesus asks me ( the Samaritan Woman) for a drink. In the passage, she is surprised that He (a Jew), would even speak to her (a Samaritan). In MY scene, I am surprised that He (God), would ask for refreshment, or anything at all,  from me (His creation, a sinner). And then, even more so at His response.
"If you knew the gift of God (He is the gift of God), and understood that it is I (Jesus) asking you for refreshment, you would ask for living water. (which would be His life in me, the Holy Spirit--a relationship with Him instead of seeking my own counterfeit ones [remember I am the Samaritan Woman (five husbands!)]
Jesus offers real love. Divine, living water, not earthly water. The kind that leaves you so that you never thirst again. So that you never feel unloved again. But like the Woman, so many times I keep trying to package His love in an earthly, finite form.
He goes on to show me (the Woman) that He understands me and my background, my sins and weaknesses. Even when I don't completely understand, even when He comes right out and tells me He is the Messiah, He is patient.

I was touched by the fact that Jesus reached through His Divine self, presenting himself to me on a human level, answering my dim questions, and understanding my broken human condition. He still offers Himself to me to fulfill what I need for eternal life.

So, yeah, I guess Jesus doesn't need to wait until "I" get better at Lectio Divina.

 from the Carmel

A nice morning chat

I know this is not really a chat, but I like to think of it as such. I also chat with God throughout the day, even if that is sometimes more of a one sided plea for help! He sometimes gets a word in edgewise.

As I sit here with my animal crackers and coffee, (Breakfast of some kind of Champions, somewhere), I am contemplating-

1. The lifestyle changes I have to make, re: the results of my recent doctor visit, revealing that I do have the Epstein-Barr virus, but it is not present in my blood enough to really say I have it. So, I am sick, but not sick enough to be called sick, but sick enough to need to take steps to get better. Better from the not-sick.

2. The lifestyle changes I wanted to make for Lent. (Lent, translates in my mind as this-"the season in which I am going to whip myself into spiritual shape, by implementing disciplines of both body and mind, of military proportions; and therefore be freed from my miserable state and go forward in glory.)"  Only now I must think of everything in light of this pseudo sickness.

 "But", you say, (because we are after all, regarding this as a chat, so we must keep up your end), "it all sort of lines up, doesn't it? There will be loads of discipline in doing the things that will make you better, and the time in which you will have to slow down can be spent in prayer and reading. And instead of fasting in the strict sense, you could fast from unhealthy foods (what, like animal crackers and biscotti?) to promote your healing." My goodness, you're right! What incredible wisdom and insight you have! I am so glad we had this chat!

Of course I still am planning on striving to get to either daily mass and/or adoration. I gave myself this week "off," with the exception of tomorrow, which is First Friday, and I am NOT giving up my so far unbroken string of First Fridays! (tomorrow is 7!). It is hard to break patterns and habits, so I am pretty sure God sent this little arrangement to "help" me. 

Here are some of my plans for Lent. Mice and men, watch out.

1. Daily prayer, inculding my usuals; Rosary, Divine Mercy, 9 Memorares (known as the  911 for special serious intentions, of which I always have). Green scapular prayers , that I gave to all my kids and their sig. others. I want to add--the Chaplet of Saint Michael, and the  Chaplet to Saint Therese.
 Hopefully, all my sitting around will help me accomplish some of this. And my parish, St. Monica's, is holding the  Novena of Grace. I know, another novena may be pushing it! We'll see.

2. A few dietary and leisure sacrifices. Drinking only water, with a cup of coffee or tea in the morning and evening. No sweets. Maybe I will make something for after Sunday supper, mostly for the kids. Fruit would be okay, and in keeping with the general health thing. If you have any good meatless recipes, send one or two my way? 

No facebook and very little TV. 

3. Disciplines--planning and maintaining house cleaning, purging of crap,-uh, I mean extra stuff, and getting started on the repainting and floor refinishing of our first floor. I keep a fairly clean house, for all the traffic we have in here ( I spoke about that once, here ), but I am not too organized about it, and let some jobs go too long. Then, after inviting company over, I see the place with new eyes and have to go on a cleaning tear. 

4. Read! This one is not a sacrifice at all, but I have a suggested list I will be working from that is mostly spiritual. If you are interested to know about which ones, I will be blogging about them as I go along.

       hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. 

 The list includes......brrrrbrbrrrrrrr, TSH! The Bible. As an Evangelical, I read my Bible and went to Bible Studies galore, and I am grateful for that background. But last night I had to borrow my daughters Catholic Bible to use during Lent. On the rare occasion I read from it, I just use my old NASB. And I do still kind of love it. But I want to read Tobit and the other books not in that version. We do have the online Magnificat, but I like to read from real books  whenever possible. They are like old friends. Yes, all my friends are pretty old now, and we are all starting to smell like old books. Trip to Bath and Body Works, anyone?

Hopefully, this is not too much for my poor frail self to do. (for Meghann--a bit of jest. not license to refer to me as frail.:)

In closing here is a painting that inspires me for Lent:

It is   The Annunciation, by Henry O. Tanner. I love how he captures Mary at a moment when she is obviously taken by surprise, her bed and floor rug rumpled, perhaps still in her night clothes. She doesn't have a fearful expression, so maybe Gabriel has already said, "do not fear."  She might be just about to ask, ""How can this be?" And then say the most beautiful, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word."

Besides Gabriel's presence, it is such a familiar setting, one I can relate to. (Except my hair is standing generally on end upon arising). But I can see myself sitting on my bed, talking to God, having something of the same expression. It kind of embodies how I would like to experience Lent this year.

 And now, friend, thank you for sitting and chatting. In case I have hyperlinked you into a state of whiplash-like neck pain or carpal tunnel or something, I apologize. Well, look at it this way, now you have something to offer up!



whoops! okay just one more link. Today is the anniversary of Bob's audition. Happy six years of joining the circus, honey!