please read and repost anywhere and everywhere you can

This is but the skeleton of what has happened in this woman's life. I have been reading her blog for some time now, and wanting so much to think of ways to help her. Yes, yes, of course I pray, as I am sure so many also do, and it is evident that God is at work.

But this Lent, let's be His hands and feet and heart, and all help pull this family up out of the years of grueling difficulty in just getting fed, clothed and kept warm.

Here is her letter--put it in the eyes and hands of anyone who will read it.



141 Main Street
Baltic, Connecticut 06330
March 19, 2012
Dear Mr. Anderson:

This is the story of how the State of Connecticut took $347 from my ten dependent children in order to pay the debts of a man who robbed me of $9900. How did this happen?

·         January 1, 2007:  my husband, Thomas J. Bothur, Jr., walked out on our family, leaving me with no money and 10 minor children at home.

·         My ex-husband used his place of employment and position (bank manager) to transfer all joint money into a personal account, without my knowledge or consent.

·         Early 2007: My ex-husband filed joint state and federal tax returns for 2006; he had the refunds direct deposited into this personal account, again without my knowledge or consent.

·         My ex-husband failed to pay state income tax, which has still not been paid as of today.

·         I was left with no money to hire an attorney to seek child support.

·         March - December of 2007: after I obtained an attorney, child support was received

·         Around June of 2007, my ex-husband moved to New Jersey; child support payments were not enforced.

·         December 2007 through September 2010: no child support, save for ONE payment, was received.

·         August of 2010, our jointly owned home was foreclosed on due to lack of payment and a lack of the courts’ enforcement.

·         December of 2010: after writing letters to a variety of state and federal agencies, asking for help with my case, a federal marshal was assigned to investigate my case.

·         My ex-husband could not be found in violation of non-support since he did make that ONE payment in April of 2008. The marshal also investigated claims of check fraud; this could not be presented in a Connecticut court due to his New Jersey residency and my inability to retain a lawyer in New Jersey to take a deposition.

·         These financial issues have been brought to the attention of the judges overseeing our divorce and custody hearings. No judge has listened to me, even though I believe my ex-husband has broken the law.

Today:

·         I am owed over $80,000 from my ex-husband in child support. I have not received a penny since January 15, 2012; he is now claiming bankruptcy which stops any attempts I might make at receiving support.

·         I am living 200% below the federal poverty level, raising 8 minor children.

·         I cannot get energy assistance or cash assistance from the Department of Social Services.

·         Any money I make is taken from me as payment for the debts he incurred while still married, or deducted from the food stamps I do receive, which doesn’t enable me to pay any bills, such as rent, electric, etc.

I have been served with great injustice from our court system and other government agencies that are supposed to protect and help adults and children who have been wronged by others, just as my family and I have. As a resident of Connecticut for 36 years, I have lived according to the law before, during, and after my divorce. I am asking for your assistance in correcting the errors that have been made to me and my family.

Sincerely,

Kristin Bothur
11onmyown@sbcglobal.net
(860)822-6303

Advent-- He comes toward us

 Well, friends, this is my first posting with my new computer. What a blessing! It does whatever I ask it to do! A novel idea.

 I am in the midst of doing two things as this Advent gets underway. One is our parish's annual novena for the Immaculate Conception. Simultaneously, I am reading and praying through the Total Consecration to Mary, by St. Louis de Montfort. I am so thankful, firstly, to God and the Church for providing these devotions, and to Father Check and our parish, for nurturing our devotion by promoting these practices. I know I would not have the impetus on my own steam, if not guided and given the structures to follow. 

  I am humbled and chastened daily. Something I need, but all this is done so gently and lovingly that I only come away blessed and at peace, not at all saddened or disappointed in myself. That's the way I believe, one really knows the hand of God; that whenever we become aware of a measure of our own sin, it is delivered with such a tender, encouraging hand, that we can only respond in gratitude. It is then we know we have been given the grace to change things in ourselves that, under other circumstances, we would find impossible. We know He deserves all the credit for these moments.

 In my search for joy, peace, courage, wisdom, strength, and charity, I cherish the moments that my Lord reaches through my small attempts to grow an inch in holiness and assist me by removing even the smallest of motes from my eye that I couldn't remove myself. Don't get me wrong! I need lots more than a mote removed. But I am thankful for the mote. 

I am looking forward to this Christmas, as I always am, but because of this time I got to spend in a bit of preparation, I can carry the peace and joy through to regular life, and hopefully, to others.

This is a song my husband and I are busily trying to recruit a few "extras" to do this Christmas. :) It sets just the perfect tone for getting ready for His coming. At one of our novenas, Father Kelley went into his teaching mode (which I rather like :) and taught us that the word Advent  means "He comes toward." what a beautiful image, to think of Him always moving toward us. Father explained that only in Christianity, do we have a God that comes to us. In all other religions, it is the people who seek after Him. What a blessing to know that our God is always seeking after us.

What Sweeter Music
What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?
Awake the voice! Awake the string!
Dark and dull night, fly hence away,
And give the honor to this day,
That sees December turned to May.
Why does the chilling winter’s morn
Smile, like a field beset with corn?
Or smell like a meadow newly-shorn,
Thus, on the sudden? Come and see
The cause, why things thus fragrant be:
‘Tis He is born, whose quickening birth
Gives life and luster, public mirth,
To heaven, and the under-earth.
We see him come, and know him ours,
Who, with his sunshine and his showers,
Turns all the patient ground to flowers.
The darling of the world is come,
And fit it is, we find a room
To welcome him. The nobler part
Of all the house here, is the heart.
Which we will give him; and bequeath
This holly, and this ivy wreath,
To do him honour, who’s our King,
And Lord of all this revelling.
What sweeter music can we bring,
Than a carol for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?
Robert Herrick (1591-1674)
Send "What Sweeter Music" Ringtone to your Cell

choices and charity

 Did you ever stop a minute and look back over the events of your life and see the effect of a single choice that you made? How it led to chain of occurrences, and affected so much more than you ever could have forseen? I sometimes am astonished at the power a single choice has had on the world around me, rippling off into the future, taking on a life of its own. 

 One easy example is the birth of a child. If you, like I, went headstrong into the world as a young person, and did not wait until marriage to engage in sex with the boyfriend of the time, then upon becoming pregnant, had to decide how to proceed, then you know what I am talking about. So we decide, and that decision goes forward with us, whether we embrace or reject the life now created. After my first go at it, in which I chose to abort, I married and had seven children. Having learned from that the real agenda of the abortion/death proponents, and that it fostered death in my own life and those around me, I never had to actively choose if I would give birth to the rest. But in choosing to cooperate in the creation of each child,  whole new lifetimes of choice-makers are brought into the world. The ripples of effect from the abortion also followed me into the future, these being mostly negative, in the form of PTSD type symptoms, but the positive has been that I experienced God's grace and His willingness to entrust seven more souls to me, and that now I am able to enjoy all they give to me and to the world. 

  But even a seemingly smaller choice can resonate--something you say to someone, who takes that thing to heart and acts on it, positive or negative. Paying attention when someone is talking. Deciding whether to attend a daily mass, say a rosary, write a letter; they all go out from us and make their mark on the world. Do we always get to know what happens? No, but sometimes God allows us a window-we see someone we encouraged go on to pursue a certain path, or someone we discouraged with a harsh word, withdraw. 

 This reminds me of the discussion that can ensue with people who claim 

they are not puppets of any religion, or God. Who trumpet "choice" as a religion that worships whatever thought is in their heads at any given moment. Why would anyone think that choices belong to them alone? That they don't make any choice in a vacuum? God, in His wisdom allows us to live, free in every moment of our lives, to choose to live in Him and pursue holiness, or not. We know we never "arrive" at perfection but that the journey of a life relinquished to God  is the epitome of freedom. And alternately, a life dedicated to promoting separation from God (goes by the name of Pride) is really a life of shackles. The world, the flesh and ultimately, the devil are harsh taskmasters. Case in point, in observing the relationships of those who would eschew all allegiance to God, I see an angry, defensive lot that chews up and spits out its own as soon as someone doesn't toe the party line. "Wait!" I want to say--"I thought you were all about choice"? Oh--only certain choices--"who gets to decide which choices"? oh, a certain group of people--"who chooses which people"?--oh, only other people who reject God. okay. I think I get it....one who "makes all their own choices" is not entirely self driven, but rather a reaction to those who willingly submit themselves to God, and especially if they dare to share their faith with others, and claim, as Jesus said, that He is The Way, the Truth and the Life. So it is okay to follow in lockstep with some person who says that you don't need God. (Whose narrative goes something like-"who is HE anyway, to try and tell you what to do, oh and by the way--do what I tell you to do, and don't mess up, or you're out"!). Well, all I can tell you is that THAT particular drama played out in the garden, and it seems to be in theaters near you, perpetually.

 "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6 

This line of thinking then gets me to thinking about truth and charity. Many times, I hear people talking of Christian love, (charity), in kind of gloppy sounding terms, as though love=sappy words*, always agreeable words, words that would never hurt anyone's feelings, or in the terms of the day, "disrespect" them in any way. What is left then? How can you communicate truth to someone in error or (gasp) sin without ever countering the beliefs leading to their behavior? I firmly believe that to lie to someone is not to love them at all. I understand that a certain degree of relationship is needed to engage a person on that level, that is a given. With acquaintances we have to rely on our demeanor and example. So here, a demeanor that radiates God's love and peace are something to aim for. (of course, it helps to foster God's love and peace oneself before trying to import it). But there is a time for direct, truthful words. Ones that don't tiptoe around the truth. 

*what leaps to mind at the thought of sappy Christian love is the Franco Zefirelli depiction of Saint Francis, in Brother Sun, Sister Moon, a film from 1973, in which Saint Francis appears with an expression of ecstasy permanently stuck on his face.

 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity, Proverbs 17:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs 27:6

Who knows if the words spoken today will not shape someones future? Who knows if those words might even shape their eternal future? If we have the truth within us, we have a treasure that Jesus asked us to give away freely. He tells us we will be hated because of Him. Hated. Wow. Not irritated, not annoyed.

 But are we willing to go that far? Not to go around ready to bite heads off for Jesus, but to carry His love and mercy in us, and be ready in season and out of season, to give witness to him?

 ¹⁸"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.'^[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. ²²If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. ²³He who hates me hates my Father as well. ²⁴If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. ²⁵But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'^[c]
 26"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. ²⁷And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

 John 5:18-27