seeking wisdom

Hello! I have been blogging less frequently, I know. Several reasons, but one of the biggies is that I have been ....shhhhh....exercising....I am afraid if I say it too loudly I will again be pulled away by one thing or another. It's usually the first thing I do, after coffee, each day.  I am in my fourth week, and if I don't exactly see any big results, I sure do feel them. My back is the first thing to show improvement, followed by general increases in strength, energy and mood. My spare tire is still firmly attached. But I feel better about it.




 I have been also thinking about this and that, doing some reading and sunning, and trying to just do each day what seems to be given to me to do.

As usual, there is a lot going on in the life of my family. Two starting college in the fall, one going to live away, one at home. Another one living nearby, but suffering from mysterious seizures, and dealing with some heavy issues besides, requiring attention and assistance at times.  Eldest in Michigan, with lovely family, with which we want to coordinate a summer get together with my brother, (who isn't well), in North Carolina (see this post ). Many other family concerns on our minds, and to add icing to the cake, financial concerns. It all adds up to this-

or, if you like, this-

So, here comes the wisdom piece. And I do ask your prayers for this. Recently I have been reading, (among other things not nearly as spiritual, but not without merit),  is Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To by Anthony DeStefano.  A very inspiring and thought provoking book.

One of the prayers is, "God, please give me wisdom."  And right now, I think I could use some. (well, of course, I always could), but for this juncture of the life of my family, I want to know what He wants of me.

Should I go back to work? Or should we just do a massive scale back in consumption? I know if I do go to work, I don't think I can handle the kind of job I typically get, full of plentiful human suffering for which I am grossly underpaid and grossly over worked and for which I am grossly over responsible. You get my take on the situation. But jobs being not the most plentiful or easily found, who knows whether I will be able to pick and choose? I am still battling small recurrences of Epstein-Barr, JUST getting back into some sort of exercise routine, and am relied on by some family members as well as the kids for transportation and general help.

But Gods ways are His own, so if He does indeed intend that I join in the fray to ease our financial burden, I have to trust He will guide me with the well being of us all in mind.

Here are a few passages from Father Jacques Philippe that resonate- the highlighted parts are the one that jumped out at me:

Every authentic vocation is a calling to live ever more fully. We should be wary of callings that may mask refusal to engage life, fear of love, flight from the body or feelings, or a lack of acceptance of human existence as it is. Accepting one’s calling should mean choosing a more intense, abundant way of life, not fear-driving flight, or a disguised choice of death, as can happen with some poorly discerned religious commitments.
— Called to Life, pp.24-25

The spiritual life would be unlivable if negation and repression were the only legitimate responses to our desires. But the spiritual path is not a way of negation but an education of desire: progressively learning to leave superficial desires behind in order to let the deepest desire emerge, the one that carries the call addressed to us by God.
— Called to Life, p.100 

Faithfulness to mental prayer is a school of freedom. It is a school of truth in love, because it teaches us, little by little, no longer to place our relationship with God on the shaky, unstable basis of our own impressions, moods, or feelings, but on the solid foundation of faith—God’s faithfulness, which is as firm as a rock. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, and forever” (Heb 13:8), for “His mercy is from generation to generation” (Lk 1:50). If we persevere, our relationships with other people, which are likewise superficial and changeable, will become more stable, more faithful, deeper, and hence happier.
— Time for God, p.32

“For you were called to freedom, brethren” (Gal 5:13). So says St. Paul in the letter to the Galatians. God calls us to freedom. But instead of being given to us instantaneously and in full measure, this freedom is built up progressively and patiently day by day, by being faithful to God’s calls.
— Called to Life, p.1

 one can't really break apart Paul.

Well, friends, there is much to think about and ever more to pray about. Our family would appreciate your prayers.

St. Rita, come to my aid! Faithful, loving wife and mother, Humble, prayerful widow and nun, Because of my need, answer my call. St. Rita, come to my aid! Beautiful rose born from the Savior's thorns, Lead me far from anger and hate; Guide my heart on peaceful paths with charity to all.

St. Rita, come to my aid!      Helper, healer, holy friend      Hear my petition (make request).      To Christ take this prayer,      For He is my Lord, my God, my All,      My hope in despair,      My strength when afraid.      St. Rita, come to my aid!      St. Rita, answer my call.  Amen.