just keep swimming.

I know the storm will eventually die down. I know I am in the palm of His hand, as are all my family members as I have asked Mary to keep us all there. I know nothing has befallen us except that which is common to man, so I am not alone in this particular trouble. I also know that in the midst of great suffering lies great grace.

So, my prayer for today is to apprehend that grace and put it to full use.


And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:4

At the Jesus Retreat, we heard a homily that explained how it is not guesswork when we have hope in Jesus, because He has proven Himself faithful already. Not like hoping for good weather or a winning lottery ticket. A good word for my present trouble.

I dearly want to resume blogging about topics other than my current struggles. I can't really spell it out online, as cathartic as it may be for me, it would be very anti-HIPPA. As well as not kind or proper for me to air details of someone else's difficulties.

So, on that note. Or this one,

                                                                                    

                                                               I leave you for now.

Peace, 

Kelly

Going Small

I have been ruminating since the election on just how to go forward from here, personally, spiritually.


Without going into what may or may not have happened on election day and then the resignation of General Petraeus and how everything fits together, or doesn't--or if it's all one huge co-inky-dink--I find myself wanting to focus on what I can do now.

 Of course, there has been a lot of God Is In Control messages in the air, and, of course, He is, but if anyone is like me -- wanting to know my next assignment, wanting to DO something to fend off being demoralized, wanting to listen for His voice specifically to me, then you may also be casting about.


The term, "going small," kept coming to mind. While the larger world does it's own thing, my calling to what's put in front of me suddenly kind of came into focus. There are lots of people in my life that could use some love and attention. They could really use His loving touch.

 

Just for starters.

I always knew this and already accepted it as my vocation, but now, somehow, I feel a renewed sense of it's importance in God's larger plan. And yes, I realize that was always true as well. That He has always been in the Renewal of Hearts Business. Not knowing what is happening to our country needn't become Not Living as His child, or Not Believing He will preserve His children no matter what.

This past Sunday, we attended a Communion Breakfast and the Monsignor that spoke shared EXACTLY what I have been feeling and thinking. He conveyed it way better than I.

At the end, he used this illustration-




You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read the article straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?

• The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
• These are no second-rate achievers.
• They are the best in their fields.
• But the applause dies.
• Awards tarnish.
• Achievements are forgotten.
• Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Did you find that Easier?

The lesson:

• The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..
• The most money…or the most awards…
• They simply are the ones who care the most

God Bless you

+JMJ+

Kelly

quiz credit:http://www.upgradereality.com/charles-schulz-philosophy/

7 quick takes ~ summer gratitude edition

Things  for which I am grateful today:

1. that our summer routine will soon be here; meaning, trips to the library and the reading of the fruits of said trips; not getting fundraiser forms every other day from two schools; kids getting summer jobs (hoping--praying), and quite possibly finishing up school before the summer is out! wOOt! So I could conceivably start working by the fall. (both intimidating and exciting!)

2. Thankful to have my family around me, even though at times I attribute my increased greying rate to them.

3. Grateful to God for His faithfulness, and knowing I don't have to have everything in life completely figured out. Especially during scary transition-y times. Which are pretty much all times with us.

4. Grateful that the Wisconsin election went the way it did. It gives me hope that America may have a chance at being the country I know and love, instead of resembling a movie about the apocalypse. And that conservatives open up their eyes to that fact and go vote in November. Every last one of y'all! ahem.

--note-- having a conservative point of view does not equate to being an uptight person who harbors hatred for anyone unlike themselves. What it does mean --especially for Christians-- is holding true to our faith and having true concern for the souls that have rejected or abandoned the God that created and loves them, and being strong enough to tell the truth about that. A true friend will not lie just to make the other feel better.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. .Proverbs 27:5-6
--all the use of the words true and truth just there? intentional.

5.Thankful for friends that offer prayer and support, even remotely, and even in the midst of their own tumultuous lives.

6. For hope. And the gift of unreasonable optimism, due to number 3.

7. For getting older; the perspective it affords, and of course the benefit of having this guy to dote on~

Everybody have a blessed weekend!

Peace, 

Kelly

Lowness and Mercy

I have a few minutes before class today and no ambition to clean or practice or do any of the many things I ought. So you're stuck with me!


I am finding it heart-wrenching to bear the difficulties my children are encountering lately. I am praying, of course, and doing what little I can to help, but it is not enough to alleviate their suffering, at least in the present. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has come to my rescue when I was definitely not doing anything at all to warrant it. " But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised at His assistance. But place that next to the law of sowing and reaping. Does the mindset of the sower, if ignorant, matter? Ah,well. All the same, in my lack of understanding, I pray and hope. And keep trying to help.

And there is this-

"Every Christian must be thoroughly convinced that his spiritual life can in no way be viewed as the quiet unfolding of an inconsequential life without any problems; rather it must be viewed as the scene of a constant and sometimes painful battle, which will not end until death - a struggle against evil, temptation and the sin that is in him. ... And this combat is, correctly viewed, the place of our purification, of our spiritual growth, where we learn to know ourselves in our weakness and to know God in His infinite mercy." Father Jacques Philippe

encouragement--going deeper

 I don't know about all of you, but this summer has begun to be a time of  weightiness, heaviness, bogged-down-i-ness, langour, lethargy, ennui, malaise, and any other swimming-through-molasses sort of word you may like to add. Couple the national news, (I won't even enumerate the stories here, lest I give up on this post here and now),  the oppressive weather---

  ----and in our house, the approach of three people starting college (myself included), financial pressures of said undertakings, house projects underway, vacations not underway, midlife exercise program kicking my butt around the block....you get the gist! SO! All of that said, you may be wondering about the title...

I can't help but see the parallels between things, and today is no different. I am currently in about my eighth  week of a self induced exercise regimen. At my age (fifty, tomorrow...yikes!), it is quite a challenge to shed stubborn mid section poundage, and overcome aches and pains that arise after particularly grueling workouts. And if you then count in the emotional waves that wash over we mid-life-type women, well, it can get quite daunting to keep going. But I did make some headway, only to very quickly find myself at a plateau. Pushing through this has been tough going, but I see that on a spiritual level, one can get just as bogged down. We can take all the right steps; pray, go to mass, adoration, amend our lives, and actively place our trust in the hands of Christ, but yet seem to be slogging across the desert in our experiential life. Not wanting to give up making progress, what should we do?

If you have been reading here much , you know of my deep affinity for the writings of Father Jacques Phillipe. The book I have been reading, In the School of the Holy Spirit, has been a great inspiration in the time which I find myself. Well, it would be terrific in any time, really..but he provides some encouraging answers to the above question.

This is a fundamental spiritual principle, found in the Gospel. Jesus speaks these mysterious words: “I tell you, that to every one who has will more be given; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away” (Lk 19:26).

In this way he proclaims one of the most important laws of life. Someone filled with resentment and unhappiness, bitter that life is not as it should be, will be deeply disillusioned. On the other hand, people who are glad for what they have received, and thank God for what befalls them will receive still more, until finally being overwhelmed by God’s generosity.
— Called to Life, p.87


Hope is a choice that often demands an effort. It is easier to worry, get discouraged, be afraid. Hoping means trusting. When we hope we are not passive: we are acting.

Love is also a decision. Sometimes it comes spontaneously, but very often loving people will mean choosing to love them. Otherwise love would be no more than emotion, even selfishness, and not something that engages our freedom.
— Interior Freedom, p.9
 

Always back to Faith, Hope and Love. Those timeless anchors. There is a wonderful passage about how loving God is the key to real and true freedom,  It begins like this:

"...If we want the (apparent) contradiction between God's will and our freedom to be resolved, we ought to ask the Holy Spirit for the grace to love God more, and the problem will solve itself."...and later.."loving Him does not constrict our heart but enlarges it infinitely."

--In the School of the Holy Spirit, pp.89-90



Very often we feel restricted in our situation, our family, or our surroundings. But maybe the real problem lies elsewhere: in our hearts.
— Interior Freedom, p.20


The very act of accepting where we are now, in all it's glory or lack thereof,  IS an action. It is trust, and if we can add "joyfully" to the "accepting" part, it is now an act of love. And as stated above, hope is also an act of the will. We all know that it is hard to remove ourselves emotionally from life difficulties. It is not pretending they are not happening, it is saying, to ourselves and to God, " I trust (have faith) that You have me right here for a reason that is for my good, not to harm me but to prosper me (Jeremiah 29:11) (prosperity of all kinds, not just material) and give me a hope and a future.


God wants us to accept His love and care for us and also give Him a chance to show it! If every outcome in our lives could be linked to our own efforts, how could we give God any credit? When we give gifts to our children, we don't want them to perform some task for them, then they are not gifts any more! Also, I appreciate when my kids ask me for something they want or need. We know God knows, but he also wants us to ask! Again, then we know where our help comes from!

Even though we know we need to pray, worship and make sacrifice; we should do this in pursuit of a greater love for God, and the gifts that flow from that, I suspect, will far exceed the gifts for which we were striving.

Peace, coolness, and Mercy for our country!

Kelly

                         yes. I know these are not lilies

 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? “And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! “Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  ~ Matthew 6:25-33

Malaika's little friends, coming to visit at her handmade feeder.

clearing a hurdle

I had  spiritual direction this week, as I do once a month. These are always good, sometimes intense, and have a cleansing effect, as we finish with confession.  There is usually one point that sticks with me about each time. This time it was about self hatred. I didn't bring it up, and we didn't talk about it, really. It was mentioned in passing, and not in reference to me. But a teeny little lightbulb went on and I understood that this was something that runs as an undercurrent in my thinking. With it came the understanding that it was not the same as healthy humility or self discipline, and that at its root there is a lie. Everybody who deals with this may not have the same lie that plays in their mind, but mine is "you are not allowed to be happy." I know when and where it originated and the life I lived at that time is long past, but it has tendrils that reach into the present. It comes into play in all different ways; sometimes in how I approach my examination of conscience and confession, sometimes in the things I do to try and make that message go away or at least get quieter, for a few. But somehow, without really having addressed it specifically, God got a message through.  It was this- " I accept you the way you are right now, today. I know the motivations of your heart; the wounds, the baggage, and the broken places that you suffer with. I am happy with you before you are completely refined. And if I am happy with you, you can be happy with you, too."

All that was just in a moment of understanding, I put the words to it to help convey it better. I could honestly say that I knew all that already, in my intellect. It just needed to sink a little deeper. It is good to be released from such chains, and I think it is only the beginning.

 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.” 

(NASB) Romans 15:7

“In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.”

Provers 14:26

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

 Matthew 11:28-30

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” 
Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)