please read and repost anywhere and everywhere you can

This is but the skeleton of what has happened in this woman's life. I have been reading her blog for some time now, and wanting so much to think of ways to help her. Yes, yes, of course I pray, as I am sure so many also do, and it is evident that God is at work.

But this Lent, let's be His hands and feet and heart, and all help pull this family up out of the years of grueling difficulty in just getting fed, clothed and kept warm.

Here is her letter--put it in the eyes and hands of anyone who will read it.



141 Main Street
Baltic, Connecticut 06330
March 19, 2012
Dear Mr. Anderson:

This is the story of how the State of Connecticut took $347 from my ten dependent children in order to pay the debts of a man who robbed me of $9900. How did this happen?

·         January 1, 2007:  my husband, Thomas J. Bothur, Jr., walked out on our family, leaving me with no money and 10 minor children at home.

·         My ex-husband used his place of employment and position (bank manager) to transfer all joint money into a personal account, without my knowledge or consent.

·         Early 2007: My ex-husband filed joint state and federal tax returns for 2006; he had the refunds direct deposited into this personal account, again without my knowledge or consent.

·         My ex-husband failed to pay state income tax, which has still not been paid as of today.

·         I was left with no money to hire an attorney to seek child support.

·         March - December of 2007: after I obtained an attorney, child support was received

·         Around June of 2007, my ex-husband moved to New Jersey; child support payments were not enforced.

·         December 2007 through September 2010: no child support, save for ONE payment, was received.

·         August of 2010, our jointly owned home was foreclosed on due to lack of payment and a lack of the courts’ enforcement.

·         December of 2010: after writing letters to a variety of state and federal agencies, asking for help with my case, a federal marshal was assigned to investigate my case.

·         My ex-husband could not be found in violation of non-support since he did make that ONE payment in April of 2008. The marshal also investigated claims of check fraud; this could not be presented in a Connecticut court due to his New Jersey residency and my inability to retain a lawyer in New Jersey to take a deposition.

·         These financial issues have been brought to the attention of the judges overseeing our divorce and custody hearings. No judge has listened to me, even though I believe my ex-husband has broken the law.

Today:

·         I am owed over $80,000 from my ex-husband in child support. I have not received a penny since January 15, 2012; he is now claiming bankruptcy which stops any attempts I might make at receiving support.

·         I am living 200% below the federal poverty level, raising 8 minor children.

·         I cannot get energy assistance or cash assistance from the Department of Social Services.

·         Any money I make is taken from me as payment for the debts he incurred while still married, or deducted from the food stamps I do receive, which doesn’t enable me to pay any bills, such as rent, electric, etc.

I have been served with great injustice from our court system and other government agencies that are supposed to protect and help adults and children who have been wronged by others, just as my family and I have. As a resident of Connecticut for 36 years, I have lived according to the law before, during, and after my divorce. I am asking for your assistance in correcting the errors that have been made to me and my family.

Sincerely,

Kristin Bothur
11onmyown@sbcglobal.net
(860)822-6303

Lenten thoughts and my grandson

      Wow,  my family has a LOT going on. You would think I'd be used to it by now. But the substance of the goings on develops over time and of course as the kids grow up their issues grow right along with them. But so does their capacity to experience growth as they attain more and more control over their own lives. Sometimes that's a scary thing, but experience is one of life's valuable teachers. Bob and I just try to hang in there with them, and with Jesus and Mary so we can hang in there with our kids. Sometimes the best thing we can do for them is keep ourselves buried in the hearts of Our Lord and Our Lady.

Part of my Lenten observance has been praying through St. Louis De Montfort's Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. It never fails to poke me somewhere each time I read it. Really, for this and it's companion, True Devotion to Mary, I could pretty much go through them continually and never reach the end of my need to do so.


     Recently, one thing among many that struck me was the need to recognize just how much fear inhibits so many things in my life.  And also how the concept of how labor is not something we can skip over if we are going to reach a goal. A concept all we mothers are well aware of! I can never forget Fr. Corapi saying, "No Good Friday, no Easter Sunday!" But if any of us were faced with what Christ was on that day, I daresay we would all just faint dead away before it got really bad. Mothers laboring to give birth can tell you that, yes, there is pain, but if there is an overabundance of fear, the pain is a whole lot worse and a lot less productive. We're told to breathe through it, and then at the right time, to bear down and work with it. Because there is going to be a great and miraculous reward and we will know it was worth the struggle.

The passage from the Consecration is this:

"There is one thing that keeps many back from spiritual progress, and from fervor in amendment, namely: The labor that is necessary for the struggle. And assuredly they especially advance beyond others in virtues, who strive the most manfully to overcome the very things which are the hardest and most contrary to them." p19

and also--

"For there a man does profit more and merit more abundant grace when he does most to overcome himself and mortify his spirit." p 19

If you think of the thing about yourself that plagues you most in life, and imagine yourself really facing it and taking concrete steps to overcome it, what's the first obstacle? For me, it's the whole reason it hasn't been addressed, because it seems too scary! Again, I think of Fr. Corapi. He said, ask for what you need! Say, you want to lose weight, but the task seems too big (yuk yuk). Ask for the desire to say, begin exercising, by asking for the ability to take, say a five or ten minute walk. Not for the ability to run a marathon, though if that is your goal, by all means, ask.  He helps us through all the stages. If you need to, ask for the courage to even ask! Back up until you get to where you actually are. He'll meet you there. The laboring mother gets to the birth one contraction at a time. Ask for the same trust the Blessed Mother had when she said yes, not knowing all that it would cost her, bless her, and help to redeem mankind. If we live in fear of pain, all we see is the pain. If we live with faith, hope and love, and look past the pain, working with it to allow it to bear fruit, Jesus takes that and does the rest.




And now for my grandson!

 

Oh the bittersweetness of watching him grow up so fast! 

Pray for me that I might be able to get out to see them soon, and better yet, get all of us together! And props to Meghann, his momma, who is a really good photographer.

Wishing you a Blessed and Grace-filled Lent

Kelly

yeah, she said it!

And I for one especially appreciate it.

I have been churning away at my schoolwork and other things, and am brimming with things I would like to share with you, but this woman speaks so well on this issue, I just had to share it with you.

Thanks Manny for sharing it with me!

Change, Obedience, and Humility

 

           Our country, at this moment in history, is becoming a place I hardly recognize. America, almost by definition, is a place where a person has been free to pursue his own course, speak his mind, and above all, believe what he has come to believe as truth, whether it be to embrace a religion or not, or to be somewhere on the continuum between the two. Now, if one is not of the popular mindset, which leans away from anything traditional, God-centered, or remotely suggestive of the idea that we as humans are not the origin and center of all that is wise and good; we are ridiculed and even attacked at every turn. The scandal within the Catholic Church is held up as a reason to negate all that God has done in establishing her. I wonder, where is the scathing denunciation and pile-on lawsuits for, say, the public school? Where abuse happens in exponential quantities in comparison to the Church.

     Now the Obama Administration is legislating how we can live out our faith. Those arguments I hear in defense are so incredibly hollow, off point, and downright bitter, I am wondering who really believes all that. I have heard that it is okay to mandate religious based institutions and groups to fund the latest package of "womens services", directly, if self insured, or indirectly, through their OWN tax dollars (after all, no government money is anything but), because, "98% of Catholics practice birth control." 1. what a load of you know what THAT stat is. (Read the debunking of that here). 2. oh, so that makes it A-Ok to tread all over religious conscience, and 3. it does not address any of the other mandates, abortion or Plan B. And if I hear the term, "services" for women one more time, I may throw up. I can tell you that those "services" are indeed DIS- services to women, "assisting" them only in becoming ever less valued. Power over life and death does not belong to us, fellow women, not to men either, but only God. Remember dear Archangel Lucifer and what happened to him?

  The idea that humility is weakness is entirely backwards. It is more heroic, more taxing, more thoughtful and yes, intelligent (yeah, I said it!) to maintain oneself in humility than to go blasting about proclaiming how powerful we are over this, that and the other. No person has power over the will of God and the turning of the earth. Thank God! By the same token, it is through humility that we can actually see ourselves for who we really were created to be. And how incredibly loved by God we are even when we do not love Him back or appreciate His infinite patience, mercy and kindness toward us. To be submissive, obedient and humble before God is to indeed help ourselves realize all that not only is lacking, (because that is all our condition), but to see the good in ourselves as well. Just acknowledging that we did not originate the good, is not weakness. It is a way to tap into the life of the Trinity through sanctifying grace and realize that we as women and all people, have the power to effect change on earth that will actually lead to real freedom instead of the suffocating arm of government forcing its will upon us. God knows His rule is absolute, and yet, He never forces. He only loves. And to love means to tell the truth. To be humble means to realize the truth about ourselves; not to  put ourselves down and not to lift ourselves up, but to know the place in our God's heart that we dwell in, and to respond to that love and therefore live in His power, which transcends all earthly ones.

As I stated in the opening paragraph, this country is supposed to be, the last time I checked, a place where we are free to walk our own faith journey unencumbered. To not have our government prying open our heads to insert its own agenda. To not be so insecure that it needs to micromanage us into submission. God doesn't do that even to unbelievers. If a person wants to make a choice not to believe, they are free to do so. God is ultimately more pro-choice than the so-called pro-choicers. (who only respect your choice if it lines up with theirs). He just offers that little side benefit we like to call Eternal Life. If we will put our own agenda aside for one millisecond and find out what He is really about, He is right there to welcome us with open arms and willing to mend our broken hearts.

I for one, plan to cultivate whatever task He gives me to share His life with whomever He gives me. And if America no longer wants to allow that, then, I guess she will be having a problem with me.

God's Blessings and Peace

~Kelly

+JMJ+

Additional note taken from article cited above--a further comment by its author-
Scott, for clarity's sake: I'm not Catholic. I am a Christian and an analytic philosopher. I don't like cant and lies. This administration and their fellow travelers traffic heavily in cant and lies. Heavily exaggerated statistics are part of that program. As a purely secular friend said to me, in almost these exact words, "One reason that this is important is because the underlying message is that the Catholic views are not simply wrong but _crazy_, that they do not describe an achievable way of life." I think that was shrewd. Whether one agrees or not with the Roman Catholic Church's position re. contraception, the current liberal meme is that it is _insane_, that no one _could_ live according to those principles. The idea is to demonize social conservatives generally, with the Catholic Church serving as a kind of proxy for "everything sexual and social liberals hate." Both for that reason and for the sake of accuracy, debunking exaggerated statistics as I was attempting to do in the main post is relevant.






image source:http://img.wikinut.com/img/r3c-pwcyffzh8d9v/jpeg/0/The-barren-landscape-of-Salt-Lake.jpeg

7 quick March for Life-and other pro life- type things- takes

1. We weren't even sure we were going to be able to go to the March this year, until I got an email from a very faithful prolife warrior friend announcing a fully paid for bus that he was trying to fill. So, we helped him out. And this definitely made us feel that God was involved, but...it was rainy~ and cold! So all the way up to getting out of bed that cold, wet Monday at Four-O'clock-ish, I was deliberating. But Malaika was going this year for the first time, and I knew so many others were going to make the sacrifice, so! We went. OF COURSE I forgot the camera! Yes there are multitudes of photos from that day, but none are us. Malaika took some shots with her phone. If we ever get them onto the computer, I may share them with you. I don't think any of them are us, either.

2. ( or, 1, continued) After seeing all the people that traveled to the march from all over the country and the world, of course I felt shamed. There were people from Canada; and my dear friend Beth told me this morning there were some from Russia! Yikes. There were people with their children in plastic covered strollers, people in wheelchairs, people on crutches. There were many elderly and there were high school and college groups, who gave the very dreary day a great shot of enthusiasm, and well, life! Despite the weather, there was a record turnout. Some estimates have said 400,000. The usual media downplay said things like 17,000. Ha! I know for a fact there were at least 17,000 in line for one of the bathrooms in Union Station.

3. (or 1, continued). ( Like how I still call this 7 quick takes?) I feel glad that so many understand that our sacrifices in attending that day WILL count, if to no one else, to God. And Who Else better? So many who couldn't attend held us all in their prayers, many thanks for that!


7.Now a few personal notes. Drum roll please..bbbrrrbrbrbrbr...tsh! (that was the cymbal crash). Remember that contest in which I asked you all to vote for my husband? Well, he won! First prize! So proud of him. And he wins $1000!  Thank you all for your generous support!

 Me. School. Hard. Exhaustion. That's all.

My daughter Corrie is moving back home this weekend. Please pray for her, if you would. Her seizures returned with a scary incident one night (she now has stitches next to her eye), and other things she really needs lots of prayer support for. Another daughter,Melissa, is doing really well, and I thank you for all your prayers for her, please don't stop just yet! I believe she has a special call on her life, and so is opposed very fiercely. Rachael is going through some tough times as well, so...well, you know the drill. All my kids have green scapulars, and I pray for them with the powerful intercession afforded by Our Lady.
Remember the Taking the Christmas Tree down scenario? Well, I am STILL taking down the other decorations. They are staring at me as I write this. I know, I know. I'm getting there!

Blessings and peace to all my dear readers~

+JMJ+

Kelly

7 quick Back -to -the -Grind takes

Source: saniapell.com via Michael on Pinterest

1. As I take a teeny breather between homework submissions, I will tell you about what the post-Christmas  (for me this is a little later than most--around mid January) period inevitably brings to our house. I love my Christmas tree, and hate to rush to take it down. Then, one day, I suddenly realize that it MUST COME DOWN RIGHT NOW. And then, I take it down about a week from that day. On the heels of that, I get the cleaning bug. No waiting for Spring for me! And, after that, I want to do improvement projects around the house. Which makes me start looking longingly at pictures like the one above. We did begin painting our first floor last summer--not finished yet, and what we did paint is already looking dirty. ( I know--I promised pictures. Maybe when it's all done. Around 2023-ish should work).  It's kind of frightening just how clockwork-y this happens every year. Anybody else go through this?

2. The above photo is on my Pinterest board. For some reason, one needs to be invited to join it. Not sure why? I am late to the game, having heard of it many moons ago, but my daughter Meghann recently joined and invited me, so I am happy to be sharing some activity with her over the miles. Plus, it is fun. It's kind of like a dream organizer and springboard for ideas. If you would like to try it out, I would be happy to send you an invite.

3. Ah, politics. I watch every morning and night for a little. I heard Downton Abbey is back with Season 2, so now I will have a great diversion. I'll have to watch it on the internet, which means another hour at my computer, the place in which I toil away at court reporting school in ever increasing time blocks. But it will be sweet to see it again! It's my all time favorite. Unlike politics. Which I have found to be a necessary evil. I would love to be non-political, but the world we live in requires me to speak and not be silent on some matters. My conscience requires it.



 4. School. I'm still at it. It's hard and getting harder. I always feel like I'm in the weeds. I keep thinking how much easier it would be to, say, be a Pulitzer prize winning anything, or juggle chain saws than to do this. But despite my feelings about it, I am still doing well in the testing. I am even taking grammar, so I now can bludgeon you to death with verb conjugations and dangling participles.When I start bombing the tests, I'll let you know, and maybe you can refer me to a reasonable chain saw retailer.

5. Spiritual-wise, I am still thinking a lot about that way Jesus has of being involved in our lives. How He doesn't wait until we get everything right. About that Mother Angelica quote that goes, “Unless you are willing to do the ridiculous, God will not do the miraculous. When you have God, you don’t have to know everything about it; you just do it.” And the passage in St. Louis de Monfort's Total Consecration to Jesus Through Mary that says, "In this most of all hast Thou showed me the sweetness of Thy love, that when I had no being, Thou didst make me; and when I was straying far from Thee, Thou brought me back again, that I might serve Thee: and Thou hast commanded me to serve Thee. O Fountain of everlasting love, what shall I say of Thee? How can I forget Thee, Who hast vouchsafed to remember me even after I was corrupted and lost? Beyond all hope Thou showest mercy to Thy servant; and beyond all desert, hast Thou manifested Thy grace and friendship." ( in turn taken fromThe Imitation of Christ). Both these quotes remind me that, A. I should just keep going and do what I do know to be good and right, what ever next step is given to me, to take it, and not worry that I don't know what the step after that will be; and B. Don't worry that because I am not "finished" yet that He will not answer my prayers and cries for help, for me and for my loved ones, or listen to their prayers and cries for help, for said reason stated above. And of course, my prayers that they will cry out to Him in their need... and so on. It's that principle I learned via Father Corapi, of backing up and asking for everything we need, even the ability to ask.

6. Still praying for Father Corapi, whose website has recently been taken down. Immaculate Heart of Mary, have mercy on us.

7. March for Life, DC. Want to go. Need a low priced bus. Perhaps this year, one with heat. We do like going with Father Tom and the Chinese kids from his school, they are really nice. But they leave on the early side, making it hard to do the testimonies with theSilent No More group. Every year, I  imagine the inner dialogue of the coordinators, Janet and Georgette, as I run up to them and pull on their coat sleeves, saying, " I need to go, like first or second (out of sixty plus) because my bus is leaving!" going something like, "Here she comes again! (eye roll) Don't they have any other buses from Philly?" In fact, they sometimes do have, but we are usually too late, they are too expensive, or like last year, the one we signed up for got cancelled due to low registration. Sigh. So I guess we should get on it!--also in the same vein--this month's pro life mass at Saint John the Evangelist in Philadelphia, on Jan. 21, two days before the March for Life, will be attended by youth groups and some others, (yikes my memory!) but if you are in the area, please come! I will try my best to get a few pictures! Justin, Rachael ,Steve and I will be singing, Bob at the piano. It is lovely when we have additional attendees, especially on this landmark occasion.

~Blessings and Peace~

Kelly

Seven quick Between- Christmas- and -New Years- takes

1. Here are a few moments of our Christmas day. 

Morning--fortunately we do not get up ultra early. We go to midnight mass and this year didn't hit the sack till an eye-watering 3:30 AM. But we still had to rouse ourselves because we had some visiting to do in the afternoon. We do gift opening one person at a time so we can all admire and properly enjoy the effort each person took in choosing each gift to give. Or in Rachael's case--making each gift . Hers were spectacular. Many of our photos turned out blurry (see the bedtime above), so I probably can't do her work justice. I will only post a few of the pics in which you can make out human forms.

 Malaika's new coat.




Ben's China cymbal. That's his ecstatic look. Really!

                                       This is also Corrie's pleased reaction. As well as Justin.


Then we went to my friend Marie's for the afternoon and evening.

I like this photo. It has nice composition. And just the right touch of silliness.

 Melissa really liked that juice.

 Marie and I have been friends since we were old enough to realize we were alive. That's a long time. No reference to age here...except that the cropping did me big favors....she still looks good in the uncropped part. I am frequently mistaken for Elizabeth...


Our family really had a lovely Christmas together. It was a couple days filled with a real closeness, bonhomie,  peace and good will toward men and all that stuff.



  2.  A few nights ago, I dreamed I was a member of Congress, and people wanted to know my thoughts about all things political.The funny part was that I wasn't entirely sure if I was a member of the Senate or the House--lol. And yet--I was addressing a group about the current GOP race, and they still listened, even though I was obviously pretty dumb.


3+4-(cause it's not that quick) We recently had some dear friends over to dinner and had a lovely evening. We discussed all sorts of things. Both our families have been and are going through some rough stuff, and the topic would make it's way back to some of the weightier issues, especially how it all fit into the light of faith. The next morning, I was thinking on it all, and a phrase I heard Elisabeth Elliot say once, (years ago when I would listen to family radio while baking my own bread, etc..) came to mind. "Do the next thing." I have so often thought of this over the years when I was overwhelmed by life and paralyzed into inactivity. I always took it to mean to keep moving forward-- by inches, if necessary. There always seemed to be at least one small thing I could do in response to whatever problem I was facing. A lot of times I would just clean the house like mad, which has a way of helping me clear my mind. I could make a phone call, try to find resources to help with said problem, and of course, pray. Not just vague prayer here, but specific requests. Like--"Lord, we do not have money for heating oil, please send help"--or, "or, Lord, I have no groceries or money until I start my new job in two weeks, please send help!" Both these specific requests were answered. One pretty miraculously, the other in a more roundabout way, but my needs were always met. The Next Thing, sometimes is a Thing that we do not want to do, or face. Sometimes we positively dread it, but know in our heart of hearts that it must be. Sometimes it involves suffering. There are so many instances in life that cause us to suffer, and within those times are the many "next things" in which God is very present in love, compassion and mercy. When we look back, we can scarcely believe the graces He heaped upon us, but yet, if possible, we avoid those times. We just are not cut out, in our natural selves, for trust. Especially that nuts and bolts kind of trust that causes us to have to rely on him for our next step, or our next breath.
Anyways--I would ask  your prayers for this dear family, our friends, who are in one of those dire seasons.


5. The March for Life is approaching really quickly. I don't think I have yet warmed up completely from last year. (high temp. of 21 degrees...). But I have a stunning red hat to wear this year.











So, I've got the really important part covered, right?






6. New Year's makes me want to clean and do house projects. Does it affect anyone else this way? It really kicks in when I take down the tree and Christmas decorations. Which is roughly around Valentines Day. If I can get away with it.


7. I probably mentioned the Jesus Retreat in my last post--so excited for a couple reasons. One is that Bob and I will get away for the first time since our quasi-honeymoon. There is a tiny chance we will not be able to go---so pray for us and for my poor mother in law, who is in terrible pain from severe arthritis. I'll be fine if we have to miss, but if at all possible, I would rather go!

In case I don't get to post again before  I am back pounding away on my steno machine for school, and we are all back to the grind, here's wishing and praying for all (both?) of you, my dear readers.

Peace, Joy, and General Goodwill!

Kelly

+JMJ+