on cognitive dissonance

That's the fancy name for living in a way that is in conflict with your conscience.

It's like a permanent stone in your shoe, or a feeling that something is always just, well, off.

Some who live in a way that is not in alignment with our deepest beliefs experience depression, anxiety, and even physical ailments. I remember having this conversation with myself at different points in my life:

Me #1:

"I wish I knew why I am feeling this overwhelming sadness and having all these frightening, negative and critical thoughts"

Me #2:

"But you do know!"

Me #1:

"Do not!"

Me #2:

"Do so!"

(after several repeats)

Me #2:

"Look, there are these several things that you are doing that you know you really don't feel good about, and they are actually hurting you, spiritually, emotionally and physically." 

Me #1:

"But to stop any of it would mean major changes. It's too scary! I don't know what my life would be like! What if I will be lonely, or lose my friends?"

Me #2:

"It's true that there is an element of the unknown, but who's to say it would be a negative change? Maybe good things will happen. One thing is true, that at least you will be free of the burden that is eating you up on the inside!" 

Me #1:

 "Maybe I am just like this. Maybe I should just accept the way things are now. I can rearrange the furniture and put a new coat of paint. Maybe then I will feel better about everything. 

Me#2:

"That's pretty much what you have been doing, How's that working out?" 

Me#1:

"Okay, I know. I guess I really have known. Maybe it is harder to try to keep the plates all spinning than to hope for some peace. Maybe I will do one thing and see how that goes."

Me #2:

"Yup. And you will find that if you do the first thing, the next one will be easier."

I'm sure you have heard the saying, "Better to face the devil you know than the devil you don't."
Perhaps this is one rationalization we have for staying stuck in patterns in life that are holding us back. I would say that if the "devil we know" is the thing we are finding comfort in and the "devil we don't" is the thing we are afraid of on the other side of change, then, friends, the only devil is the real one who is whispering in your ear that you just can't do it.

For my part, changing my life was not something I did on my own. All I did was humbly admit that my own tactics of never confronting my fears or challenging my methods was definitely NOT WORKING. I knew deep down all along, that God was calling me to follow and trust Him, and all my efforts to do it _my way_ were only amounting to sadness and harm. I had several light bulb moments that pretty much woke me up to the fact that I had to do SOMETHING and soon.

The biggest thing I did was to simply allow God in. I considered what He had to say to me, and asked His help. For me, the turning point was the hardest part. Overcoming the fear was like the drop of oil that got the gears in motion. It wasn't all kittens and picnic lunches from there, but the huge relief that ensued from gradually resolving the cognitive dissonance was like being able to breathe again. It was one step at a time, and frankly, still is.

Cognitive dissonance, in the language of the Church, is simply conviction of sin. And it is a huge grace, not a negative, shaming thing at all. The only shame is in refusing His love and grace.

I think living the Christian life is one long, continual conversion, as we allow Him to conform us to His life for us. It is resolving cognitive dissonance one sliver at a time, towards ultimate peace. The Church provides the vehicle for us to ride upon, partaking of Christ in the Eucharist and the other sacraments that help care for us in this life, and assist us to the next.

It is a great gift and grace, to be able to lay our heads on our pillow at night, and be able to sleep in peace and security. We know that we are not perfect, but that we are on the road with Him, going where He leads, and not flailing around on our own.

I would ask your continued prayers for my family and for me.

Peace, 

Kelly

Timely words from The Author of timely words

Today, by God's grace, I was able to get to morning mass. The Lord didn't let my paltry effort go to waste, either, as the liturgy hit me right between the eyes. Several times. In a good way.


Here is a snippet from the first reading: (from Hebrews 10:32-39)

Therefore, do not throw away your confidence; 
it will have great recompense.
You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what he has promised.

Left jab!


And another from the Reponsorial Psalm: (From Psalm 37)



. The salvation of the just comes from the Lord.
By the LORD are the steps of a man made firm, 
and he approves his way.
Though he fall, he does not lie prostrate,
for the hand of the LORD sustains him.

Right cross!

And then the Gospel: (From St. Mark 4:26-34)


Jesus said to the crowds:
“This is how it is with the Kingdom of God;
it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land
and would sleep and rise night and day
and the seed would sprout and grow,
he knows not how.
Of its own accord the land yields fruit,


And just for good measure, the communion antiphon: 

Look toward the Lord and be radiant, let your faces not be ashamed.

Annd, the KO.


Father's homily went on to describe how the mustard seed of faith is accepted by God and multiplied beyond our human ability and comprehension. How Mother Teresa carried one person off the street at a time. How God's power is what is needed, not our own. We just have to come up with that little seed. That small act. Offer that sore heart.

Today, He lovingly encouraged me. I always can recognize His voice because of the profound love and gentleness, even as I am corrected.

Once again I am overwhelmingly grateful for the gift of the Church, where I can go and just plug into the mass, or adoration, or if I can, say a Rosary, and if I can't, just hold some Rosary beads. I don't have to come up with anything on my own at all, except the mustard seed of getting myself in the doors. 

As Father said, " We just provide the mustard seed of faith, and God does all the rest. All we can do is what we are able." He even mentioned letting go of control. Nice one, Father.

How true, how comforting. What a relief when life threatens to overwhelm, and I am tempted to try to tough it out  on my own. How easy to forget! 








*no idea why all the white boxes around the text. will come back and fix it later!

Today, just today.

I am  making my way through a time of having to trust God hour by hour, day by day, for how to deal with a certain parenting situation. The kind all parents dread, and not many escape completely. 

His grace is all the more sweet in contrast with the darkness of the trial. I can choose each day to believe He is my very present help in trouble.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Here is a song, in honor of Manny's Music Tuesdays. His is much more put together, while this is just me posting a song that I enjoy. Hope you do too! 

I have set aside Mondays to pray, fast, and do sacrifice for my kids. You are certainly invited to join me! It does not have to be on Monday, just any day that is best for you. Together we can lift up our kids. This is not an easy time in which to be growing up!

The Annunciation

At the Annunciation, Jesus is bodily present on this earth for the first time. Mary's yes was the vehicle for that.  St. Maximilian Kolbe calls her the spouse of the Holy Spirit.

There were times when I used to wonder what would have happened if Mary had hesitated, or said no. Sinless though she was, she was still 100% human. Her purity only made it possible for her to be completely open to God, but she still was not forced or programmed. I read in the Magnificat that her yes sprang from an absence of cynicism, and an acceptance of possibility in the face of what seemed impossible.

 As limited as my understanding of Mary is, the Annunciation is to me the pivotal moment in history that brings the presence of Jesus alive on earth, and begins the great event of His sacrifice on our behalf. Mary had, if you will, a front row seat to WWJD for 33 years. We adore His presence at Adoration and each Sunday; she was in His presence almost continually. She was already sinless, but all of that proximity to her divine son must have had a radiating effect. As standing in the sun would have a physical effect.

St. Louis de Montfort, in his prayer to Mary, includes this passage:


The only grace I beg thee to obtain for me is that every day and every moment of my life I may say: Amen, So be it--to all that thou didst do while on earth; Amen, so be it--to all that thou art now doing in Heaven; Amen, so be it--to all that thou art doing in my soul, so that thou alone mayest fully glorify Jesus in me for time and eternity. Amen.


I say the three Amens often, after receiving our Lord in the Eucharist.

I rest in the fact that I don't have to know everything in order to trust in everything. Mary only ever leads to Jesus. Jesus only ever leads to the Father. The Father's only desire is to see us happy with Him in heaven forever.

Happy Feast day!

Kelly

Seven introspective takes

                     
                      jk!

                  








1. Still asking for prayer! Several intentions. Family related. One I can share is that my son-in-law has an application in to Kellogg's. And Meghann had an interview for a new job -just today! It would be such a relief if they got these jobs! Another is that Corrie, who was almost a whole year seizure free, had one at work last week. There are more --just please remember my family--thanks.


  2. I was talking with a friend the other night, also a mom, about letting go of our kids. It is a lifelong process that, at least for me, does not get any easier with time! If something happens to them, I feel it! But we have to learn how to love by letting them live and learn, even the rough stuff. Ow.

                                                                                    

  3. In thinking about detachment, I see that it goes hand in hand with trust. How can I detach from a situation or person, unless I am trusting God? I have to be releasing them TO someone's care other than my own, not just to the "universe," or to karma, or even to their own devices. So my trust in-God meter needs to be up in the "total" zone.

as you can see, this one is not quite there.

4. Are you hard on yourself? I know I am. So many shoulds and oughts. Do you think this is how God wants us to think about ourselves? That He would hold out a carrot promising peace only when you live up to gargantuan standards that always seem to move?  During the same conversation in #2, we talked about loving ourselves, and what that meant. I find that when I improve in one area, I beat myself up because I didn't improve in ALL the areas. I know I need to take care of my health, that of my family, physically and spiritually. And work, do laundry, go to mass and confession, and if I am very lucky, adoration,  clean, give the cat a manicure,

you know, the basics. If everything is not operating at the MAXIMUM level of efficiency at all times, do I think God is disappointed or peevish? Of course not. So why am I?

5. I am loving the fall-ish weather. No A/C or heat needed, windows open, blanket at night.  Downside -- living in the city means that open windows=hearing everything that is said or happens outside. And the man who walks his dog at the butt-crack of dawn and always manages to find somebody with which to have a nice boisterous chat.

 6. Fall means --people back on a schedule, school, work, practices, band-gigs, crossfit, (that's what Ben and Melissa are doing in the pictures),  AND that I get two whole days a week in which I (shhh, don't let this get around) have the house all to myself. I don't know where to start! I have multiple projects I either want to start or already underway. I always laugh when I remember a coworker at an old job saying to me that she always wanted to work, that she could never "just sit home."  I didn't even know being home involved sitting...

7.  Even with all the inner chaos, yes, I do trust God and am thankful like crazy for all the blessings and comfort He does provide. When I think about the world and oh Lord, our country (+JMJ+), I must always remember we are in the palm of His hand and our Blessed mother is interceding for us always. She has the mom-thing and while she may not worry exactly, as her trust is you know, perfect; she does grieve over us and rejoice over us. Both. At the same time.

Have a great weekend everyone! Despite the headlines.

+JMJ+

Kelly

Sandy

So here we go folks! Hang on to your hats! And pray. Please pray. Ultimately, our God supplies ALL our needs and knows every hair on our heads. He is the One we can trust during all the storms of life. Yes, prepare. Yes, do everything you know how to to help mitigate possibly having to stay inside without power for at least three days. I know the local govt. and power companies are readying for widespread power outages, but they won't be able to get out until the storm has passed.
I have already noticed people being a little kinder to one another, and having to stay in together can be a welcome time away from the fast pace of everyday life.

I know of at least a couple people in harm's way, very close to the NJ coast. For them I especially pray.

For us, so far it has mainly been cleaning up and cooking things, anticipating the loss of power


Psalm 91:14-16

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."


Luke 21:18
But not a hair of your head will perish.. 


I am asking the Lord to have mercy on all in Sandy's path and that all might know that He is their rock and salvation, and it is He that holds our hand.

Prayer of Entrustment to the Divine Mercy

O Lord, our God.
We place our trust in You,
Because you are mercy itself.
We repent of our sins and turn to You for mercy.
We trust You to provide for our every need, according to Your will.
Help us to forgive others as You forgive us.
We promise to be merciful by our deeds, words and prayers.
Though we have fears because of human weakness, we rely on Your infinite goodness and mercy.
We entrust to You the future of our planet, our Church, our nations, our families and all our needs. 
With loud cries we implore your mercy on us and on the whole world.
Look upon us, created in your image and likeness.
Form us in the Heart of Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit into the living images of mercy.
May all come to know the depth of Your mercy and sing the praises of Your mercy forever. Amen!

If you wish you can pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet-

Divine Mercy Chaplet

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross, 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Abundant Grace

I just realized something about how God deals with me when I sin. And I mean the big sins. For instance~

1. I had an abortion, and well before, mind you, I came to an understanding of just how sinful this was, He continued to bless me with healthy beautiful pregnancies and children. Eight more times! (I had one miscarriage).

2. I went through some really gnarly times during the first twenty-ish years of raising them. Not all of it was due to my personal sin, but some definitely was, especially towards the end of that period.  In making my way out of those rough years, I responded with some old patterns,  from kind of a broken soul.  He has given me lots and lots of grace, and many opportunities to be there to support the kids through their own healing, which in turn, you guessed it, furthers my own. Having been there, I get it when people take time to work their way out of deep holes. God has afforded me with enough time and resources ( not tons, I said enough) to be generous and give to the kids and sometimes their boyfriends, from what we have. A lot of the time, what we have is simply just to care, to feed them some dinner, or open our home as a place to hang out. I noted the other day, when I was feeling kind of overdone, that giving myself away always furthers my healing and the healing of my family. It is never wasted. Even if what I offer is flawed, God puts in in the bank. And as a result,things are better. Not all better, but better. I trust that He is not finished with us yet. When we still have troubles, I now know that He is at work. I feel the pain, but I have hope. I see that the Lord has offered us His hand to cling to, and His grace to sustain us.

He always knows what we need. He rarely gives us what we deserve.  Sometimes, He blesses us and trusts us with the very things in which we have failed.

Isaiah 61:3

  and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty  instead of ashes,
the oil of joy  instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

waiting....waiting...

This is shaping up to be one of those Wait-and-See-What-Happens days. Not my favorite kinds of days. One daughter is having troubling physical symptoms, but didn't want to miss school, so I am calling around, trying to feel it out and get a game plan.Which results in waiting for doc offices to call back. Familiar with that tune?  This makes it kind of hard to do some of my routine but necessary things, like run the vacuum (something, that in a time of stress, is surprisingly soothing), go to the market, or even just focus on anything else well.

I have never been very good at waiting. I like forward motion. The Bible is all full of waiting verses--sheesh. Guess it is one of those growth producing things--what are they called? Oh yes, Virtues. Wait! hmmmmm.

Patience....Virtue.

riiiiight.










With a large dollop of trust thrown in.



Well, it did enable me to sit here and write this, and peruse the blogospere, and post to facebook, and do some laundry, and heat up one of last night's stuffed peppers for lunch...what am I complaining about? Well, it's just the worry-weight when one of the kids needs medical care, and all the figuring out what it is--hoping nothing too scary-- yada yada.

sigh.
Exhausting stuff.

Well, I may not have gained patience this time(that I can tell), but the pepper was good the next day.

salvation history part four- -from then till now

The aftermath of the abortion, though it never really is completely over with, is definitely a part of my conversion story. Why, you ask? Well, go get a cup of coffee, or tea if you prefer; or if it is late, perhaps some warm milk, or if it is chilly, some hot cocoa....oh, right. The story.


The many twists and turns, missteps and outright disastrous choices that followed are too numerous and convoluted to spell out here.  I know this because I tried last night- I had it almost all written out, and got so bogged down I left it for this morning. Rereading it with a cup of coffee (yes, it made all the difference), my somewhat fresher mind saw right away that the point was lost. So I tell you now, that; 1. I wanted to escape the place in which I put myself by having the abortion. I fled repeatedly--fled the places, the people, and jumped into relationships I thought would start me fresh, so I could remake my life into what I wanted and thought it should be; and,  2. The only problem was --me. I couldn't seem to see the danger signs soon enough and would then be caught in difficult, even dangerous situations that I would then try to make work.

 I believe now that I was fearful of not ever having that family base I so desperately wanted. Ever since the abortion, I saw myself differently. Gone was any sense I ever had of being a person of worth, who could know with any certainty that someone else of worth would want to make his life with me. That experience, of being rejected and then rejecting the life within me, had somehow gotten inside me, like a tapeworm, and eaten up any healthy self image I may have had. So whenever anyone would show any interest in me at all, I would just set my mind to that relationship becoming "the one". I got myself into heaps of trouble with that theory.

Over those years, though, my Christian faith grew. I came to know and love the Lord, and have an intimate relationship with Him. The churches went from Mennonite (a charismatic version), to several non-denom's, (also charismatic).  The piece that was missing was the ability to have the strength to confront some of my more foundational demons and overcome them. Even during my longer (13 year) second marriage, I couldn't stand up to the abuses for fear of compounding my past failures. I also now had six kids. After that marriage literally imploded, I went through a real crisis of faith and became truly, clinically depressed. I spent  a few years floundering for real. I did not attend any church, was ashamed to even pray.  I knew I was living a life in opposition to God, but lacked the courage and strength to confront it. During this time I had my seventh child. Even when I wasn't living right, I knew better than to get another abortion. At least that lesson sunk in!  I got some treatment for my depression which helped a little. But somebody must have been praying for me because one day--and this is literal--a light bulb just went on. I saw the situation I was in for the dead end it was, and suddenly just had the fortitude and resolve to confront it and move on, damn the consequences. There was so much cancer in myself and my kids that had been allowed to fester over that time-about four to five years-that really we all are still healing, but it was a new beginning.

That decision brought me to the area I now live. I started going to a charismatic Catholic prayer group and became their song leader--even before I became Catholic! Which then led me to attend Mass. Of course I couldn't resist getting into one last bad relationship--which I did and paid heavily--but as far as God went, I felt a grounding I had not ever known in all my years of knowing Him.  I joined RCIA and converted in 2002.

What was the difference? I recognized the Lord in the Eucharist.Long before I was able to receive Him, I drew His love and strength just from being in His presence. After all those years of charismatic worship, I recognized the Holy Spirit when I saw Him! Another gift from the Church was that I was allowed to attend and absorb the presence of the Lord, and hear the Church's teaching without being micromanaged, as some of the other churches had done. (Sister, do you have sin in your life? Well, yes, I still did, as a matter of fact). But the Church gave me the time to work things through with God, to get to know my Lord on a new and deeper level. He gave me the strength and tools I needed  to finally overcome all the stumbling blocks that I couldn't conquer myself, especially once I could receive Him.  After submitting myself to the annulment process for my past two marriages (this I can also talk about with anyone wanting to know--it was a long, arduous process, but also a very uplifting one), I married a Catholic man and we now fight this good fight together. We play music for masses and do pro life work as well as giving our lives to the kids and each other. And yes we are still fighting our own battles with the world, the flesh, and the devil, which will continue until we die. God never gives up on our growth, so we are continually challenged and stretched. Thanks be to God that we have, in the Church, everything we need for life and godliness. ( His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3)

I have gained the foundation and the stability I so desperately sought. The difference is; even with what good teaching I did receive over my years as an Evangelical, I lacked the power to make it stick. Now I am able to fight the good fight; face the demons, (some that I helped along in the past); do what I can to rectify things for my children, which sometimes is to pray, sometimes to work and pray. I have green scapulars for all of them, plus the boyfriends. To convert so far are: Melissa, Meghann (who married a fantastic fellow who happened to be Catholic and Kaden is baptized), and Adam, (Melissa's boyfriend). Rachael attend masses and often sings with us. Ben attends mass, Malaika is being raised Catholic; and Justin, Corrie's boyfriend, is also Catholic. I still pray the green scapular prayer for all of them, for  continuing strength, protection, and growth in their faith.



If there is one thing I can say I now know with certainty, it is that God can be trusted. This trust does include  "faith-work" on our part, but not arm twisting kind of work, but rather,  a prayer- and- living kind of work. The kind of work that is an overflow of the love  and joy that He imparts.

adventures

Well! We have just returned from a whirlwind trip to visit my brother Gary and his wife Cindy, in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. It is located so far off the beaten path that Mapquest underestimated the duration by three hours! Those last three hours were grueling. I kept saying, "we're almost there!". I think the kids will never believe anything I say again.

But, oh how worth it! Everywhere we looked was another breathtaking scene. I never got "used" to it, in the four days we spent there. Cindy took us on a mountain hike, that, 1.was exhilarating; and, 2.proved to us we can do more than we think we can.

So now I can't help thinking, "what else am I not doing because I don't think I can? What other possibilities are there that I have discounted? What may God have for me, that because of my own fears and limited thinking, am I unnecessarily ruling out ?"

Before we left on the trip, Justin and Corrie gave us this.

How appropriate. Our entire trip really was an act of faith, and we were so blessed and rewarded for that small step. Hopefully, my brother and his wife feel the same! They seemed to truly enjoy having us with them. A friend of theirs, Kelen, was there part of the time, and deeply appreciated and enjoyed our kids. It made me see what we have even more. Our family may have its problems and we have had some really rough times, still do; but we have a treasure in our very imperfect and rustic vessels. The Lord has been so faithful to us, how can we ever doubt him?






Look what He has given us.

We have so many reasons to thank Him and praise Him. Not so many for being fretful or fearful. While there are many things happening in the world that produce in us worry, the Bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength. (Neh.8:10) He is always joyful, and we can draw on that joy at all times, because He is never tired, or discouraged, or fearful, or downtrodden.


May the peace and joy of the Lord be always with you.

♥
Kelly

trust

"Fear is useless; what is needed is trust." Luke 8:50, Mark 5:36

Easy to say, right?


 I have heard and read lots of good teaching about this subject. But the best teacher has been life itself.

 I've found that trust comes a bit easier for the long term issues for which I pray--especially eternal salvation for my family and other loved ones. Also for people of whom I am not personally acquainted, the Pope for example. I pray for his intentions at the conclusion of each Rosary, and sincerely ask God for his protection and guidance; but I do not suffer the same pangs as when I am praying, for instance, for my two hospitalized  daughters, one here, one in Michigan. (that was quite a time!) In that state of  prayer, I awake all throughout the night. Every waking moment I have the intention in the foreground of my thoughts, often accompanied by  the physical  feelings associated with grief. If you are alive and reading this, you know that twisting of the gut that I speak of.

 Aren't the here and now situations, the ones with the hard edge of reality gouging you in the ribcage, really the places of life that are so difficult to hand over to God? Finances, for example. Nothing is harder edged, more coldly factual and without emotion, than money. Yet, people's emotions are often very linked to it. Look at the stock market, driven by the feeling of the day. I guess it is the necessary stuff of life, and we have to deal with it--I have been affected at various times by a pretty grim monetary poverty, and know the daily stress it can impose.

On the flip side, I also have experienced in that real, more real than real, way, the hand of God coming to me in desperate situations; bringing His love, assurance of His presence, sometimes physical relief. But always, a freedom from the prison of fear.

Several years back, our dear Father Terry (pictured  in the slideshow with us at our wedding ), in a session of spiritual direction,told me to look back at my life, and document my own salvation history. Meaning, the times I could see the hand of God, noting through whom or what He came, and what was the effect? So very often  the pattern was - me surrendering something I was holding tightly to for comfort--whether it be a relationship, a mindset (fear, pride, insecurity, for a few of the big ones) or even control of certain outcomes, say, concerning my children. The results? Grace. Overflowing, abundant, overwhelming at times.

Our Lord is so available, so immediately present, so attuned to our every thought, struggle and prayer,---

(O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. Psalm 139 1-4)

--that, if we were aware, I think we would continually be falling on our faces in awe and gratitude. Not to mention all we ask to help and guide us--our Blessed Mother, all the saints and angels, our dear guardian angels, to whom we give almost no thanks or recognition. I have often joked that I keep my favorite saints quite busy praying for my family--Saint Monica (today is her feast day!), Saint Augustine (tomorrow is his!), and I love some of our more contemporary saints, who walked the earth on our lifetime and saw the direction our modern times were taking- Padre Pio, Blessed Mother Teresa, Pope John Paul II (not yet!), Solanus Casey--these are just a few. And since his passing, I ask Father Terry for his prayers. I often joke that I didn't even give him a chance to get there and put his feet up before I put him to work. But he had a real love and interest for my family, so who better to ask?

The point of doing that was to see in my own salvation history--that God is worthy of my trust. That even in situations I never would have thought I could make it through at all, (poverty of heart and of pocketbook, abortion, abusive relationships), He has brought me through each and every one, to emerge stronger, more at peace, and immensely thankful and blessed.

May His peace reign in you today and always-

Kelly


St. Monica, pray for us!

Feastday: August 27
Patron of Wives and Abuse Victims
387

St. Monica was married by arrangement to a pagan official in North Africa, who was much older than she, and although generous, was also violent tempered. His mother Lived with them and was equally difficult, which proved a constant challenge to St. Monica. She had three children; Augustine, Navigius, and Perpetua. Through her patience and prayers, she was able to convert her husband and his mother to the Catholic faith in 370· He died a year later. Perpetua and Navigius entered the religious Life. St. Augustine was much more difficult, as she had to pray for him for 17 years, begging the prayers of priests who, for a while, tried to avoid her because of her persistence at this seemingly hopeless endeavor. One priest did console her by saying, "it is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish." This thought, coupled with a vision that she had received strengthened her. St. Augustine was baptized by St. Ambrose in 387. St. Monica died later that same year, on the way back to Africa from Rome in the Italian town of Ostia.

                                                                                             *note- whenever I see this image(we belong to St.Monica parish, so I see it all the time--it is a statue in our church) I cannot help but think of Father Kelley remarking that they look like they are watching the eleven o'clock news--thanks for that, Father! lol